. : lil princess : .

2006-02-23T22:33:00.000+08:00

it's gotta be u, baby.. no one in the world compares to u..

<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3

thankew for 18 of the best mths in my life...
i luv you so many many....
*hugz*
=)

2006-02-15T13:41:00.000+08:00

i shall rmmbr this day as the day bam-bam reminded me why he is, indeed, my soulmate.. haiz.. he saw rite thru me.. we were up early this mornin, and got ready for the day.. i had lit midterm paper at 8 and he had to go to work.. dressed in his uniform, he sat quietly on the bed and watched me put on my make up.. he looked at my face..

him: u're seeing fahmie today..

me: huh?

him: fahmie.. the married guy.. he's in ur class today ryt?

me: er, yeah.. why?

him: i can tell.. u look beautiful today..

me: aaaw.. c'mon.. its not like tat.. i alwiz dress up for skl, dear..

him: i noe.... but i can tell the difference still...

and then he jus pulled me close and hugged me.. whispered in my ear......
"pls dun be swept away by him.. i luv u.."

so u think its gd to hav sumone noe u so well?

yes, i ate wit him again.. he told me he might skip gymmin this friday to look for me..

ergh.. guess tat's why they say, all r/s goes thru temptations.. u get thru tat, and u'll get thru anythin.. but why are we even talkin abt all this.. its jus a frenship, ryt?

aaaaahhh... i dunno...

but one thg's for sure.. u're an angel, shahareen shahnavas.. nvr tot i'd be luved like this..

2006-02-08T21:06:00.000+08:00

breakfast wit u... =)

now i see, wat love means..
it's so unbelievable.....

2006-02-07T20:24:00.000+08:00

my heart skipped a beat today... aaaarrgghh... if only time cud stand still... =)

2006-02-03T22:33:00.000+08:00

why did u look at me like tat?
i've nvr felt more beautiful..

why did u come to me?
my heart's nvr raced tat fast before..

why did u sit next to me?
u sat so close, i felt ur breath on my face..

why did u speak to me?
now i can't get ur voice out of my head..

u shudn't hav..
u shudn't hav offered me sthg i cannot keep..

we can't run away frm reality...
u're married..

yes..

i'm closin the door on u before i even let u in..

2006-01-02T19:20:00.000+08:00

finally came up wit the addy.. www.vanillacherry-doll.blogspot.com

okie.. see u wen i see u.. =)

2005-12-31T18:50:00.000+08:00

wish i cud say this layout's all set and ready, but there's still sum touch-ups needed.. shall continue tmr.. been at it for 10 hrs straight.. =S

gd way to start the new yr ryt? new layout, new addy.. my private blog (this one) shall stay put, and it'll remain private for future extreme, emotional tots.. but i've decided to blog publicly again.. *gasp* yup, u heard ryt.. =) can't bear to start anew and begin a new blog, so i'll be using my previous account.. nonetheless, i will be changin the address.. haven tot of it yet.. its shiqz.blogspot.com for now..

alritey, need a break.. =)

2005-12-24T20:16:00.000+08:00

happy 16th mth baby!! =)

its christmas eve, and i ain't goin anywhere.. watched chronicles of narnia last nite.. bleh.. 3 outta 5 stars.. the story was alryt, but the weakness of the movie wud be in the children actors.. it was a pity they didn't put up convincin enuf performances.. still, it was alryt la..

results out.. ergh.. major disappointment, which was highly expected since i gave myself no rm for errors.. haiz.. yes yes, i noe i shud be grateful since i did better den all of my frens, but it jus ain't gd enuf for me..

nvm.. i'll work harder next sem..

outta here.. choosin my mods.. bye!!

2005-12-20T10:55:00.000+08:00

last nite, i fell asleep waitin for bam-bam to come over.. sorry... hee.. but i did wake up instantly wen i saw his msg tho it was 4am..!! "i miss my luohan.. u ar the only gal i wanna marry.. its u or never.. muackz!!" haha.. where did tat come frm? silly fella.. fancy stayin up thinkin abt such thgs wen he had work today.. =)

finally went out today.. gosh, i'm finding it increasingly difficult draggin my butt outta the house.. =S walked ard causeway pt today.. had early dinner at pastamania wit "who-else", and then got sum yummy pralines frm chocolat world.. 7 pieces cost 11bucks!! goodness.. well, it was delicious.. but i think it wasn't worth the moo-moo.. ok for occasional treats tho.. ;)

i feel so guilty for being anti-social this hols.. oops.. =S there was the outing wit our theatre studies grp, the chinese class bbq, an outing wit jc classmates, one wit sec classmates, one wit the gang.. etc etc.. and i bailed out on all of em!! tsk..!! =P well, give me sum credit.. at least I went out wit jukka last week.. haha.. tat wud so be the last time i’m going out wit a finnish guy..

as u can see, i'm waaaay too lazy to entertain ppl.. but alryt.. i'll put in sum effort.. haiz.. tmr, outz wit daisy and nisa.. and i promise i'll try to enjoy myself.. =P we're going to city hall.. sum ladies shopping.. =)

okie.. no more of this scroodlin-doodlin (yes, i made tat up).. i’m off!!

2005-12-19T10:40:00.000+08:00

this has been a movie-less mth for me.. the last movie i watched was harry potter.. obviously, its not tat I dun hav the time.. i jus hav no intentions whatsoever to waste money on crap shows like saw II, chicken little (wat the hell?), pride & prejudice, the descent, or even king kong.. those are very not my type of movies.. =P yeah yeah, i'm a sappy, lil hunny..

luckily, movies for me are up and comin.. hee.. i'm anxiously waiting for the chronicles of narnia to start screenin.. looks pretty exciting.. hopefully, i wun be disappointed.. =) besides tat, elizabethtown , in her shoes and memoirs of geisha are also on my "to watch" list..

nvm all tat.. i'm still happy to say tt i haven been bored.. for one, i rented pearl harbour.. oh man, how many times hav i watched tat show? haa.. watched it thrice at the cinema & dozens of times on vcd.. i absolutely love the soundtrack!! all the string instruments.. oooh.. lovely.. =) besides the great story, who can get enuf of double treats ala affleck and hartnett ryt? *swoons* =D btw, i still can't believe jennifer garner was jus an extra in pearl harbour (she was nurse sandra, if u hadn't notice..)

last 17 days being 20.. aaaah!!! is another yr reali over? sheesh.. for wat its worth, 20 was a blast.. =) lookin back, sum of the best yrs of my life was wen i was 14 and 17.. but i think i can add yr 2005 as well.. =) read all my old entries.. this was yet another eventful yr, yes? haiz.. it was a long time comin and now.. it's finally, finally happened.. yeah!! it was almost surreal.. haa.. guess tat was jus the icing on the cake.. =) my last entry abt it was definitely most appropriate, wit the strong emphasis on the 3rd last paragraph.. =)

life is beautiful - sponge bob square pants

in the morning i feel the breeze
the sun washes over me..
sound of water, the crashin sea
is it only me..
tat feels alive..?
its all ahead of me..
cos it feels so right,
jus open ur eyes and say..

life is beautiful, so beautiful..
its beautiful to me..
oh, life is beautiful, so beautiful..
its beautiful to me.. =)

cleo's now my fav mag.. in this mth's issue, there's an article on guys and their body hang-ups.. well, i'm not reali interested to noe, but it was fun jus reading random stuffs.. here goes..

first on the list.. thin is out.. i tot they meant the physique, but this was referrin to men and their thinning hair.. well, both ways, it doesn apply to bam-bam.. he has reali thick hair, and he gained a whole 10kg this yr, muscles and all.. hee..

forest chump.. guys wit hairy chests and wat not.. eeew.. i'm reali surprised it was ever in.. i hate hairy chests.. gross!! haha.. no offense, but i personally find it kinda a turn-off.. i dun like guys wit jaw-ful of hair re-growths as well.. u noe, like brad pitt and ben affleck? i jus prefer guys who're all clean.. like orlando bloom and josh hartnett.. and yes, bam-bam can tick this one off as well.. his chest bears nothing but the yummy 6-pack wor.. ;)

the lowdown.. i quote, u nvr hear dreamy requests for short, dark & handsome.. haha.. indeed, u dun.. it is possible tat guys are too tall for you, of cos.. too much of anything cudn't possibly be gd ryt? too tall, too short, too fat, too thin.. but for guys, my personal opinion is tat its all in the way they carry themselves.. still, bam-bam's 1.79m.. jus nice.. =)

on the rack.. ie, man boobs.. i sooo get wat they're talking abt.. a guy's chest totally fills out wen they work out.. shah tells me tat if a guy has a muscular chest, and he stops workin out, its very likely tt they turn saggy.. sounds bad.. but nope, this one not applicable.. not yet, anyway.. haha.. =P

made for walkin.. says here tt the predominant imagery of male sexuality is a waist-up affair.. as a result, they neglect their lower half in favour of their arms, stomach, back and shoulder workouts.. uh-oh.. looks like sumone's very guilty here.. =)

lastly, the leaning tower of penis.. penises apparently tend to curve to the left.. haa.. this one, no comments.. =P

well well, one out of six ain't bad ryt? haha.. =P silly magazine.. but still, quite a break frm all the skl's serious readings..

wanna go watch tv now.. toodles!! =)

2005-12-13T15:33:00.000+08:00

the holidays have been fantastic..!! as u can see, i've made it a pt not to waste the hols being on the net.. hehe.. =)

jus the highlights...
finally broken the 4 yr record cos i went swimming!! haha.. at the private pool, of cos.. been swimmin nearly every nite.. sheesh.. still not used to the cold water tho.. takes me at least half an hr b4 i'm totally wet.. =S but yeah, its ok.. gd exercise.. hee...

been readin!! yes, i'm boring.. but the simplest thgs make me happy.. took a couple of afternoons readin away..

shopping!! tat was last sat.. went crazy at red earth cos they hav all these promotions.. everythin's jus 'buy 2 get 1 free'.. haha.. how not to resist ryt? sum lippies frm clinique and mac as well.. no palettes for me after all.. the prob wit em is tat its hard to find a set of colours in which u like them all.. so, nah.. its either i get a palette wit all of the colours i like or none at all.. else, sum of tat will go to waste, no? ;) got myself sum black suede pumps too.. flats, no heels.. quite done wit em 4-inchers.. tat's abt it for now, but u can bet there'll be more to come..

one of this hols indulgents wud be food!! my mum's spolilin me silly wit all the pastas and wat-hav-yous.. also, bam-bam and i've been dining quite a bit at fish & co.. ooooh, i luuuurve the food..

oh yeah, i'm callin him bam-bam now.. haha!! how apt ryt? us, bam-bam and pebbles, the flintones's babies who grew to heart each other... =) 16th mth comin soon!! (is it 16th?) me still luvin u, baby.. enjoyin every bit of our time together.. which reminds me of the little trip i made to the tailor..

her: hav u been here b4?

me: yeah, i jus came last mth..

her: is it? i can't rmmbr..

me: u altered my baju kurung..

her: oh!! ur bf came to take it for u huh?

me: yes yes.. tat was my bf..

her: WAAAHH... ur bf SOOO... handsome.. *laughs*

me: eh? is it?

her: yeah!! so handsome leh.. tall-tall one ryt? like.. like..

me: taufik batisah?

her: *laughs* yeah!! like the s'pore idol..

me: =S

too-pid lady.. rmmbr him, but can't rmmbr me.. probably cos i wore the scarf the previous time, and i didn't after tat.. ergh, and yes.. i did do his ego major enlargement by tellin him.. haha.. apart frm tat, bam-bam and i were scouted for modellin twice!! aaaw... individual approaches happens like, countless times already.. but its fun singled out as a couple cos the assignments are sooo... bridal!! =) still not into this modellin thg.. esp in s'pore where the industry's like, no where? but i kinda encourage him a bit.. its a part-time thgy ryt? cud be fun.. besides, he's a guy, so its easier and less restrictions.. hmm... well, up to him..

anyways, it has to be said tat guys who look for gals on friendster are so pathetic.. hello....? is tat ur way of tellin me u're a class-one loser? dun they read the status? *rolls eyes*

results are only out on the 23rd.. say wat? man... they're killing me... i'm dyin to find out.. haha.. still keepin my fingers crossed..

oh yes.. the b'day pressie came a lil early.. heee... thank u, mumzie dearest for the hot pink mobile.. weeee....!! =) and yes, its the motorola.. =D

mm-kay.. next day out for me's probably fri.. shall we go bugis, baby? today, i shall jus finish up my book..

alrytey.. gonna get to it.. see u wen i see u!!

2005-11-30T22:12:00.000+08:00

tat's it.. last paper over and done wit.. phew... =) i shall get started on my first book tonight!! hee....

after the TS paper, had dinner wit nisa, daisy, hanuum, kamal, fairoz, fabian, atikk and shaikah.. we had yummy cheese pratas.. caught up wit the gals on stuffs tats been happenin lately.. its been awhile since we all talked, cos the exams took up all of our time.. man!! can't believe yet another semester has passed.. i'm reali happy wit all the frens i made this sem.. guess arts peeps rock.. =)

still at the baby's house.. will be headin home soon.. i'm sooo tired.. heh, shall make him give me a gd massage..

alryt then.. let the gd times roll in...
toodles.. =)

2005-11-27T18:06:00.000+08:00

spendin the sunday at shah's place.. i tot my last paper's on tues evenin... turns out its on wed evenin.. oh well.. tat leaves me more time to study.. =)

so, i'm reali glad i stole sumtime away yesterday to do watever lil bit of raya visitin i cud.. first wen to shah's aunt's place, then met up the gang at fina's place.. nice catchin up, alryt..

after tat, shah and i went to visit my pri skl fren, lenny.. i haven seen her since pri two!! sheesh.. tat's twelve long yrs.. i rmmbr going to kindergarten wit her, and then to zhenghua pri.. i kinda didn't noe wat to expect, actuali..

wen i saw her tho, i was glad she looked the same.. haha.. as in, i recognised her.. she's married now, wit 2 daughters.. and stayin in a house of her own wit her husband.. imagine tat... 20, havin to quit ur job and be a full-time housewife and mother.. hmm...

wen we left her house, shah commented on wat a reali nice, down-to-earth lady she was.. and indeed, she was all tat.. =) i hope she's going on her life jus fine.. i noe she's havin sum rough times.. it can't be all tat easy ryt?

suddenly, it reali dawned on me how very lucky i am.. i've got skl, great frens, a wonderful bf, family, a whole lot of everythin.. and lotsa time to spend on me!! i've nothin but admiration for her cos i think it takes a lot of courage to take on such heavy responsibilities, and i'm no where near tat..

i hav beeg, beeg plans for the future, tat's for sure.. but i noe wen i take on the next step, i'll be ready.. mentally, physically and financially.. esp the part abt havin children.. i've alwiz wanted an early marriage, but i kinda pictured the first few yrs to be honeymoonin phase.. say, abt 3 yrs.. jus me and my hubby travellin here and there and everywhere.. cos u noe, once the children comes, there ain't no turnin back man.. ur freedom goes out the door, for gd.. =S

u hav no idea how thankful i'm feelin ryt now.. =)

well, meetin lenny reminded me of innocent days in kinderland.. haha.. K2 to be exact.. i rmmbr play time, cos all the other kids wud be playin.. all except me.. tat's cos i'm alwiz on the teacher's lap.. and she'd be playin wit me, and huggin me, and tyin up my hair and stuffs.. =) tat was also the first time i topped the class, and frm then on... i luuuurved skl!! haha.. looked forward to going to skl everyday of my life since then... =D aaahhh.... those were the days, yes? =)

back to my books.. peace!! =)

2005-11-25T16:42:00.000+08:00

today's paper was supposed to be the worst.. i only memorised like 3 essays for the whole semester.. but wat do u noe, the qns tat i studied came out.. yeah!! =)

15th mth was sweet.. me, and u, and a tub of ben & jerry... =)

one last paper, and the percentage's not all tat high so, i ain't frettin over it.. i am all set for the hols tho.. i shall read sum 20 books, includin the literature books.. hehe.. yeah, i'm kiasu like tat and i wanna hav a head start..

weeeee........ can't wait for results... =)

2005-11-24T13:04:00.000+08:00

now tat i'm happy and at ease, here's my parting speech.. muahaha.. =)

i wud like to thank YOU so so very much, for ur sheer stupidity.. hahah.. if not for tat, none of this "shit", as u like to say, cud've happened.. =) yup, u and ur sheer stupidity made u the subject of my scrutiny.. see, the real deal was tat i was sooo ready to let us be frens since the day shah and i got together.. oh yeah, its true.. and the way i see it, thgs wud hav gone perfectly tat way.. u cud go out wit the bf all alone, or talk to him on the phone, or watever.. i wudn't hav mind.. so, wen did all this change? haaaa.. wen u wrote tat little interestin letter.. tsk tsk tsk.. geee...

see, it became clear to me tat u are tryin so hard to show me tat u meant sumthin to shah, and tat u and him shared sum special moments.. and u noe wat? even till nov 18, 2005, u're still tryin to show tat u were his little sweetie pie.. hahahahaahhaha!!! tat is seriously one of the stupidest thg i've ever witnessed.. imagine u, bickerin wit me.. cos u so wanna defend ur so-called-rights.. cos u can't except tat u were a nobody in his life..

u say its not within u to do stg this lame? HAAAA.... lame IS ur middle name la, dey.. if i were in ur position, and a certain shah got on with another gal, i SWEAR i wudn't hav cared.. eh, wait a minute.. i AM in ur position.. zai does hav sumone new, doesn't he? well, trust me, i wud NVR go to his gf, and go tell her all the stuffs we did together, or all the stuffs he said, how he promised he'd spend the rest of his life wit me, or show all the stuffs he got me, or let her noe anythin abt us in any way.. noe why? cos i dun care.. i DUN care.. to me, there is soooo many guys out there and zai is not worth anythin frm me.. and anyway, its a dumb thg to do cos the status quo already speaks for itself.. she's his gf, and i'm forgotten.. the thg for me is tat tat fact has only made my life a better place..

if his gf comes to me and says, "hey.. u noe.. zainal has NEVER loved u..", i won't even flinch.. seriously, so wat sia? i dun care who she is, wat they do, or how he feels abt me.. he sooo doesn't define my life.. i'm glad i was smart enough to move on and find a better guy.. so, zai's gf can come to me and gloat all abt how he's so gd to her or how much he may detest me.. haha.. i DUN care.. i've been there, and i noe the limits to his kindness.. and i already topped tat..!! i found a better guy, who's better lookin, and treats me better and i've nvr been happier.. but u, goodness.. act so hard up abt a stupid fact tat u meant sumthin to sum guy who doesn't like u.. aiyoo.. its reali shameful leh..

the only reason why this whole thg is a big deal is cos YOU act like its a big deal.. YOU are the one who feel sore tat u're a nobody, to the pt tat u msg me endless rebutts and defense.. haha.. and u've been acting this dumb for the past 1 and 1/2 yrs.. "oh, boo hoo.. the jerk dun wan me.. sum bitch got him and now she's being so mean abt it.." or or.. "oh, i took out my precious lil diary and recounted all those horrifyin turbulents.. oh, wat a HUGE ordeal.. sobs sobs" or "booo... my jc life was such a rollercoaster ride.. oh oh.. rude awakenin.." oh, brother.. *smacks forehead* get over it, will u? i mean, is tat reali such a highlight in ur 18 yrs? haha.. if sumthin like tat happened to me (oh, sorry.. it did).. the whole zainal episode.. god, i cudn't careless... =P

and now, better yet.. after how everyone knows of the endless phonecalls, and endless invites, and how u cried wen he didn't pay any attention to u, or how u cried the 2 times he told u he wanted to be jus frens.. and after the little poems, and the msg in the bottle, and makin a big deal of the ribena he bought, after jumpin on his back, after peckin his cheek, after tellin him how u dun wan him to be attached, after flashin ur knickers, after being sooo nosey of his whereabouts, u wanna say u didn't throw urself at him? hahahahahahaha.... seriously, u're even lamer than i tot!!! =D the gang shall hear abt this alryt.. how TYY apparently nvr liked shah..!! ;)

for me, i loved zai once.. and everyone knows he loved me back.. wen we broke up, i did lotsa dumb thgs to save the r/s.. duuh, i'm so not gonna deny it.. but fact is, i've moved on.. and now i dunno and i most definitely dun care wat he's up to.. haa... he can go ahead and say the past nvr happened.. it doesn't bother me.. he's the past, and wat happened in the past, STAYS in the past.. i'm living in the present..

i noe u look like a toad and its hard for u to take attention away frm those teeth.. but wen we went out, didn't i already tell u tat lotsa gd lookin, brainy, gd packaged guys dun go for looks at all? sheesh.. i tot u'd take a hint already..

anyway, yes yes.. u can now go ahead and try reali hard to give me a gd backlash to try save watever little bit of pride u think u hav left.. but if i were u, i wudn't bother, reali.. after all this, i reali think of u as sumone wit no taste, no brains, no looks, no pride and no dignity.. and u're sure as hell one little, desperate toad.. scraps of consolation also, die-die want to save.. haha.. and u can say watever u like, but do u reali think i care of the opinions of sumone who looks like u? i mean, reali? =P

yes, this will also be the last entry u'll read.. i've proven my pt.. haha..!! so, watever u say now, no prob.. the truth is clear already lor.. if u're soooo dissatisfied, PLEASE come and find me.. haha.. no need to call this guy or tat guy, i believe in settling thgs myself.. so if reali not happy, be my guest.. in fact, i dare ya.. haaa!!! probably cos i noe u dun hav the breasts to talk to me.. heh.. wat can u do, sum ppl only noe how to type.. and sum ppl, noe their arguments are weak (if they hav any to beigin wit).. =D

hav a nice life!! and since u wun hav the guts to look me up, happy talkin to urself!! =)

a note to my baby, happy 15th mth ann!! me at ur house happily waiting for u to come home.. i hearts u, dear!! =)

2005-11-22T20:31:00.000+08:00

i am so happy...... weeeeeee!!! =)

hehe.. for one, its such a beautiful weather.. aaahhh... i was supposed to be studyin this mornin cos my paper was at five, but cudn't help nappin for a gd half hr.. =)

also, today was my 3rd paper.. yeah!! so far, reeeeeali gd.. i wrote all of nine pages for today's history paper.. i can safely say i've secured 3 As.. a-hem.. hopefully, A+s, but.. A's are gd too... =) well, two more to go.. chinese tmr.. and i kinda prepared the most for tat one so, i ain't worried.. ;)

aaah.. isn't life jus so wonderful wen u noe ppl hav got nothin on u? =) no concrete arguments, so all the irrelevant nonsense start to come out.. haha.. life's a bliss, i tell u.. =)

*ribbit ribbit* OOPS, the toad's croakin.. hahahaha..

go on.. shoo.. run back home under tat rock and cry abt all the big, mean bullies and how this world a bad bad place.. AAAWWWW....!! poor little toady.. =P haha..

bubbye!!! =)

2005-11-20T15:41:00.000+08:00

dun we all reminiscent..? haha.. gd luck for ur gp, man.. =)

rented many many movies.. shit.. hope i wun lose the momentum in my mugging.. skl this sem has been such an absolute joy, but i'm all ready for the holidays.. baby, we going kl for the hols? first thg i'm gonna do come dec is to get all those pretty, pretty make up palettes.. =) and i'm so gonna read too!!

but b4 tat, yeah.. exams.. haiz.. gonna burn the midnite oil a lil more..

anyone needs beauty tips frm a toad wit single-eyelids? (shah tot of tat one, btw..) heee... do tell me!! i'll make an appointment for u.. haha.. ;)

looks like the toad needs to buck up on her general knowledge.. muslims are not allowed to, didn't u noe? guess we noe who's the airhead, as well... haha.. =P

oh yeah, do keep describing ur toilet habits on dates k..? tat's jus so classy.. such a turn on to noe how ur hand cramps up wen u're cleaning ur privates.. HAHA!!! and keep clickin ur tongue as well.. tat's like, so sexy la..

tot u'd hav scored wit tat lil skirt u so try to flaunt ur knickers wit.. (talk abt being cheap..) hahaha.. poor u.. after baring it all, they still DUN wan u.. haaa.... actuali, heard tat was a turn off as well.. haha.. failure as a woman, its pitiful.. well, duh.. ur boobs and knickers are like for everyone to see.. who wanna take u sia.. not ur bf also can check out ur cheap stuffs ryt? =)

off to fish & co!! the baby wans to gimme a treat.. haha.. i haven't a clue either, but i sooo wan pasta.. weeeee... =)

toodles!!

2005-11-19T12:44:00.000+08:00

back!! been concentratin on my two papers since the last time i was on the net.. looks like i didn't miss much..

woweee!!! all tat for me? haha.. save it, sweets.. if those were the reasons u tot u had a chance, well... HAHA!!! u're so pathetic..!! man, all my guy frens talk to me like tat.. wat a massive difference between me and u.. by tat time, shah and i muz hav watched at least 40 movies.. he'd proposed to me like, twice.. brought me to see his family 12 times AND had 4 pics of me, one for every yr since sec 4 (excludin the ones in his phone).. and i still hadn't fallen for him yet..!! haha...

eh eh, can the next episode be the one where he bought u the RIBENA drink? pls pls..? the one tat the whole skl heard abt.. hahahaha... tat one's my fav... shud've heard how he was talkin abt it, tat u made a huge deal abt him buyin u the ribena.. haha.. oh man.. or those times u were houndin him cos u wanted to noe where he'd been? tat's HIS fav, since he had no idea why he had to ans to u or report his every move.. heard u were more intensed than the CIAs.. *applauds* =)

well, still doesn't change the story tho, does it? cos, the after the movie marathon..

me: so wats this i hear abt u makin frens wit a chinese gal..
him: huh? how u noe? who told u?
me: fina.. why?
him: aiyaa.. nothin la.. she's jus a fren.. i mean, we were not so gd.. then, she wanna make fren, so.. anythin ah..
me: pretty?
him (ridiculed tone): NO la!!! she's not pretty..
me: so, anythin there?
him: no la.. i jus make fren with her only..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tsk tsk tsk.. to me, u're so like a pathetic beggar, on her 4 limbs, lickin tat same spot on the floor hoping tat sum scraps of food wud appear, even wen told repeatedly by the owner of the grounds, tat there ain't no food there for u, man.. tot u'd be up and movin off by now.. oh well.. all i can do is hope u start realisin there's nothin there for u.. and u can belah, for everyone's sake.. stains of ur drool is reali beginnin to mess up the place.. =P

oh yes, and next time u wanna comment on sumone else's physique, i strongly suggest u take a mirror, and try to miraculously get ur puny eyes open and reali look hard into it.. then, maybe.. jus maybe.. u'll notice those very aunty-lookin-tatooed-lookin eyebrows, and then u can count the number of teeth u hav out of place, and if u hav time, u can also count those lumpy spots on ur face.. haha.. then maybe, jus maybe.. u'll see tat u're in absolutely no position to comment on ppl's looks.. ;) geez, i tot after being rejected a gd number of time, u'd realise tat ur looks so cannot make it? guess i shud hav known tat u're in denial in every sense of the word..

not gonna read my blog ryt? gd.. guess u'll miss this helpful awakenin for u, tat i'm sure will prevent u frm further makin a fool outta urself.. =)

oh yes.. pls feel free to respond.. but now tat u noe exactly wat the story was like, tat u were NOTHIN to him, i dun care wat else u think.. make sure u keep tat in ur thick skull.. =)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

abt my papers, oh.. they were great..!! had my theatre studies practical exam and they loved it!! so much so tat the head of theatre studies, dr robin loon, came up to us and personally told us to major in theatre studies.. =) well, its been fun but.. nah, not for me.. i might write a play one day tho.. real life experiences inspired me.. it'll go sumthin like this..

guy: hey, if i'm leadin u on, let me noe k..

gal: no la... no no.. dun worry..

guy: ok, jus wanted to tell u tat we shud jus remain as frens..

gal: but u luv me ryt?

guy: no la, we're jus frens..

gal: oh.. but u send me a pathetic sms.. so u like me wat..

guy: no.. i jus treat u as a fren..

gal: ok ok.. i noe, u're afraid ur gf will be mad ryt? got it, tat u liked me, but u scared to admit it..

guy: no.. i reali jus think of u as a fren..

gal: aiyaa.. dun bluff la.. i was special wat.. didn't u feel the sparks comin out frm our asses wen we were out?

guy: huh? no la.. we're jus frens.. we're jus frens.. we're jus frens.. we're jus fren!!!!

yeah, it'll go sumthin like tat.. wen u reach the end, u jus read the whole thg again.. so, u do tat abt thrice? haha.. interesting ryt? =)

on another note, i watched jus like heaven.. so nice!! i give it 4 outta 5 stars.. it was reali funny.. i liked it better den hitch.. well, the ending's a bit cheesy, but.. other den tat, it was sweet.. a-a-and.. also watched harry potter.. another gd show!! 4 outta 5 stars.. awww... cedric diggory was soooo cute!! cudn't help oogling a lil.. hee...

alryt.. off to continue mugging.. i studied so hard last nite, like frm 3pm yesterday till 8 am this mornin.. can't believe i didn't sleep at all..!! =S

alryt.. toodles!! hav a lovely day yeah? =)

2005-11-15T15:04:00.000+08:00

i feel sorry for ppl who are in denial.. or ppl who are sore losers..

2005-11-14T19:40:00.000+08:00

i am so unbelievably stressed out these days..yes, shiq has got the exam fever.. boo!! i dunno why i'm so hard on myself either.. i get it frm everyone.. "why are u studyin so hard? why are u so stressed?" well, tat's jus how it is, this time round..

hari raya came and went.. unlike most ppl, i'm not gonna say i felt nothin towards the occasion.. it alwiz means sumthin to me, cos the cuz only comes during this time.. and so, we met..

on the 2nd day, shah came along to go visitin wit my family.. and wen he saw shah, his immediate reaction was to look at me, ryt in the eye.. oh man!!! shah and i may hav endless debates on whether or not zai is a hottie.. (amuses me how shah still doesn't think so, even wit zai's large fan base..) but of the cuz, he cud only say tat he was one hell of a gd lookin guy.. haha!! =P

the cuz and i spoke on the 3rd day.. shah was havin his own open house, so he wasn't ard.. and he spilled everythin, very bluntly, tat he was jealous, and tat he misses me.. and a whole lot of other information.. haiz.. no comments la.. we said wat we had to say.. guess tat's reali sumthin i'll keep between us.. all i noe was tat, we broke up, not cos there were other ppl, or tat we stopped lovin each other.. but because we are so far apart, and its so hard to be together..

other den the first 3 days of raya i spent visitin relatives, i gave all other outings a miss.. *gasp* haha.. yes, its true.. this included the jjc raya outin yesterday.. shah wen without me, cos he had to accompany azhari..

here's another thg i hav to sigh abt.. i am sooooooooo sooooo soooo very sick of hearin how this gal and tat gal and this gal and tat gal cudn't be wit shah cos i basically stole him away.. like, seriously.. get real pls.. i nvr tot of this as a prob, cos i was wit him almost every step of the way, and i didn't fret abt any other gal, simply because i knew exactly wat he had for all the gals in his life.. and it was nothin to fret abt.. yes, tat is the truth..

now, i feel the need to give my story.. so, here goes.. shah and i go a long long way back.. we grew close in sec 4, when he crushed on me.. i felt nothin for him then, but as i am not one of those who gets all swept away and big-headed wen approached by guys, it was sooo easy for him to be frens wit me.. i allowed him to treat me reali well without lettin him hav headaches by fallin for him.. basically, i made it possible for us to hav a strong, platonic frenship..

2003, i was briefly single after breakin off wit my cuz.. and tat was wen shah and i got close again.. he was startin to like me again, but gave it all up wen zai got into the pic.. so, for the rest of tat yr, i was bz wit zai.. and shah, he grew an interest in a certain sumone, lets call her missy.. interest meanin, he wans to noe her.. shah has all this stupid ideology of not crushin on anyone until he reali knows her.. this is so tat he likes the gal for all the ryt reasons, and not jus cos of wat he sees..

heard tat didn't get very far.. 2004, wen zai and i fell apart.. shah, as my best fren, helped nursed my broken heart.. tat was wen the complication started, i guess.. cos i was single, and we were gettin so close again.. and at the same time, after mths, the missy finally decided they cud like be frens or sumthin..

i cudn't stand the tot of sharin him, and i gave him an ultimatum.. only me, or no me at all.. he did not choose.. for him, the ultimatum was unfair.. tat was wen we fell apart for 2 weeks.. amidst all these confusion, another name was added.. i asked him abt it and i knew frm the response he gave me, it was a nobody.. this was why i focused on the whole situation between me and shah and the missy, and i nvr bothered abt tat new name i heard.. in fact, the name was unspoken of till abt 4 weeks later.. so, thru this time.. the prob was jus between 3 of us..

eventuali, we spoke again.. put our differences aside.. i decided i was being unfair to him, and since i didn't wanna be wit him, he shud hav the ryt to go after other gals.. but he didn't wan to.. tsk tsk tsk.. all these games we played.. =P

i tried to shoo him away and get him to noe the missy, but he refused.. cos by this time, he said tat he had wanted to noe her, but was turned off by all this hard-to-get shit.. for him, it was like, wats the big deal? can't even be frens is it? and he wanted to forget the whole thg..

we grew closer.. and he asked me to be wit him for the 3rd time.. it was in a period wen i had no intentions of being his gf and i honestly wanted to say no, but he convinced me to give it a chance sumhow.. and it was the one ryt decision i wun ever regret.. =)

bottom line is, he is wit me definitely NOT because he had to be wit me, or i made him be wit me, or tat he cudn't be wit the missy.. he's wit me cos he wanted to be wit me, and not the missy.. i cud be nice and tell her there cud've been sumthin there, but fate was not on their side.. but i wun bother cos tat wasn't the case..

for the other, there was nothin at all.. i asked him last nite, if i did not exist, wud he hav preferred to be wit her or the missy.. his ans was... the missy.. this, for him, basically, boiled down to chemistry.. it's a simple theory of how one cud at least make his heart race in such a way tat the other cud not..

in view of all this, i feel kinda stupid havin reacted the way i did, slightly more den a yr ago.. if i cud turn back time, i wud hav let her hav her story.. and all i wud hav said, is wat i now noe.....

tat, 2 ppl can be in the same situation, yet feel very different abt it.. and hav very very different recounts of it.. as shah's gf, the only side of the story tat shud matter to me was his.. i shud hav known better.. i shud hav known him better.. he told me all along tat he wudn't even consider it cos it jus wasn't there.. guess i was being paranoid? i dunno.. but we all learn, dun we? and next time, i noe i dun hav to react to such thgs cos they mean nothin.. time has indeed opened my eyes, and i now hav unwaverin faith in our r/s..

wen probs arises and it involves other gals, my immediate reaction is to wan to break up wit shah.. seriously.. like, last nite, for eg.. why? cos i so wanna prove a pt, tat even if he doesn't hav me, he doesn't wanna be wit anyone else.. so, i am not the prob.. he's the prob..

anyhow, this is my story wit him for today, for now.. yes, i dunno if we're meant to spend the rest of our lives together.. maybe yes.. maybe no.. but for now, this is the story.. and he's exactly where he wans to be.. ;)

2005-11-13T13:22:00.000+08:00

me and the little hunnies.. =)

shah and nisha darling..

shah and i..

2005-11-03T11:44:00.000+08:00

headed to geylang at midnite, and wrestled wit the crowd for a gd 4 hrs.. =S and i reali do mean wrestle.. man, i was practically walkin inch by inch.. and the air was soooo polluted wit all kinds of smell... eeeew... haha.. how gross..

jukka (he's frm finland) had actuali wanted to tag along, but i wasn't reali in the mood to entertain.. haha.. i kinda had to block tat guy frm my msn.. no offense, but he keeps on talkin and talkin and talkin to me, and its uber distractin.. i'd so hold him responsible if i get a bad CAP.. haaa... he was like, "gosh.. high maintainence doesn't even begin to describe u.." yeah, try tat and willful.. =P

i'd also jus reread wat my birth mth says abt me.. and i'd say the only thg tat's wrong in there is tat i'm money cautious.. i am kinda, but not reali.. other than tat, it pretty much sums it up abt me, and i'm proud of it.. u noe how sumtimes ppl hate the way they are..? i'm not one of those.. i am actuali very quiet except wen i'm in an especially jovial mood or wen i'm wit loved ones.. i dun reali call myself stubborn, to me its being determined.. and i dun thiink i'm critical, jus observant and very upfront abt wat i see.. and i'm happy wit tat.. for me, to be soft-hearted is to be weak.. i'm not weak..

i noe every adjective tat is me, and i embrace it.. i'm not abt to be modest and wait for me to believe stuffs only wen told by ppl.. we shud noe ourselves better den ppl can describe us, both vices and virtues.. so, pls.. no need for anyone to tell me wat i'm like.. i'm well aware of it.. =)

aaaand, yes.. i am one of those very jealous creatures.. there's only abt 3 individuals i'm envious of, but those cud run thru great depths.. haha.. cos i only admire ppl who are all-rounders, and there's not alot of those.. i think i am one myself, to sum extents, but u noe wat they say.. no matter how great u are, there'll alwiz be sumone greater.. tat's jus life, yes?

guess one of em is u-noe-who.. malay top student in the country, looks tat cud take her anywhere, future doctor, pious, a super hot-ex-rjc-soccer-captain bf who's very much her equal.. haha.. shah hates it wenever i say she's better den me (we all get insecure sumtimes).. he dun think she's much, apparently..

being envious is one thg.. but more imptly, i learn frm these ppl.. wen reachin out for ur dreams, sky's the limit.. yes, i noe her flaws too actuali, but why bother wit those? take the gd, throw the bad..

actuali, i'm feelin.. well, i've been reali emotional these days.. maybe its cos mine and shah's parents will be meetin this raya.. and i guess they'll talk abt it a lil.. its the early stages after all.. and it jus dawned on me how serious we're gettin.. i mean, once the families meet, its pretty much no turnin back u noe? tat's kinda scaree...

i wish i was those one of those who takes luv easy.. but fact is, wen i give my heart away, i reali do give it away.. life wud be easy if i cud jus fall for anyone who's gd to me, or if i cud get over sumone in weeks.. but its hard for me to luv sumone, and even harder to get over them.. i took 4 yrs to get over my 1st bf, and a yr to get over my 2nd.. and for the one true luv tat i had, i'm still countin the minutes..

isn't it strange how we cud hav wat the whole world wans, yet.. there's sumthin missing in our hearts?

i pray tat my luv for shah will jus grow wit time.. there's nothin tat he lacks, so i cudn't ask for anythin more.. and i noe tat spendin the rest of my life wit him will be the best decision i'd make..

i reali shud watch tiramisu.. wonder who he'll end up wit, the gal of his dreams, or his soulmate..? frm the looks of it, its his soulmate...

maybe tat's life's true fairy tale, eh? we end up wit the one who sees ryt thru us, who understands us and knows us best.. =)

2005-11-02T14:27:00.000+08:00

hug from behind - you like to feel what the other
person is feeling and see things how they see
them. you tend to be serious and emotional.

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2005-11-02T14:25:00.000+08:00

Singing should be your fame because with a few
lessons you could be the next Mariah
Carey!(well maybe not exactly HER, but
whatever...)

You should be famous for...
brought to you by Quizilla

2005-11-02T14:24:00.000+08:00

You're not really sure what you want, but you do
know you want it to be special. So i got to
choose for you! Hope you like it!

Which wedding dress is best for you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2005-11-02T14:18:00.000+08:00

January,
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious.
Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at
people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to
criticize. Hardworking andproductive. Smart,
neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep
thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet
unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved.
Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but
prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties
expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has
great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very
Stubborn and money cautious.

What does your birth month reveal about you? (read memo)
brought to you by Quizilla

2005-11-02T14:05:00.000+08:00

Your attractive to guys! As you are being yourself
and trying not to hard, guys actually dig you!

Are guys attracted to you?

2005-11-02T07:54:00.000+08:00

it reali confuses me how 3 ppl can be readin my blog wen i only gave my password to one.. hmmm... maybe the counter's not workin properly.. i doubt it, tho..

2005-11-01T23:48:00.000+08:00

i hate it wen ppl come to me and start pryin in my personal affairs.. i hate it to the core.. wats up wit tat, man? yani came talkin to me on msn..

yani: hey, so how's the marriage plans comin along..?
me: oh, fine.. its not any time soon anyway cos he's in ns..

yani: oh.. ic.. as much as i think gettin married will b fun and nice and all, i think i'm not ready to be married.. like, i'm still young and i wanna hav fun.. u noe?
me: haha.. yeah, well.. technically, u are more independent than me.. =)

yani: then be more independent?
me: ...

seriously, wat the f**k is wrong wit sum ppl? trust me, it went on and on and on... i mean, why the hell do i hav to be more independent? if u're independent, den u get married late.. i'm not preachin for u to do otherwise.. i'm fine being dependent, and wen i get married is my none of ur concern..

gosh, u dunno if ur life's tat perfect, do u? so, word of advise.. jus take care of urs, why dun u?

other than tat, i'm kinda feastin on sushi, kfc and old changkee.. heeee... thankew azhari for buyin all the foodies for me... =)

oh, and we also watched cinderella man.. it was superb!!! 3.5 outta 5 stars.. very heartwarmin, very intense.. i liked it.. gave me an insight to the great depression too!! =)

alryt, last day of fastin tmr.. and then, takbir hari raya.. =)

2005-11-01T02:08:00.000+08:00

i think this song was beautifully editted.. =) i luv it..

that place that u can't rmmbr... and u can't forget..

2005-11-01T00:25:00.000+08:00

actuali, i'd written a long, angry post yesterday afternoon.. but it wasn't published, and now.. i dun feel like recountin it.. so, watever..

yesterday was quite lovely.. hehe.. shah and azhari had been makin plans wit my family to hav a surprise bbq for me.. aaaaw... i was so touched!! its neither my b'day nor a special occasion, hence it was truly unexpected.. i think bbq-ing at the condo's poolside's waaay better den havin it in the east coast.. less "messier", if u noe wat i mean.. less hassle.. =P

the guys went swimmin too..!! bummer, i cudn't go cos i dun hav anythin to swim in.. but now tat there's a private pool, i guess i cud go get tat ripcurl halter swimwear.. hehe.. can't believe i haven't swam for at least 3 yrs!! yeah, i hate it tat much.. i dun like the wet, heavy feelin wen u get out of the pool.. i dun like swimming wen its hot cos i dun wanna get burnt, but i dun like swimmin wen its cold either cos all i'd do is sit in a corner of a pool and shiver.. haha.. =P but shah says the water felt nice in the evenin, jus nicely warm.. so, why not? ;)

today was absolutely madness.. went to skl for TS prac, then headed to bugis to get sandals for the guys.. and after tat, dashed to geyland to look for tudung.. goodness!! i cud hardly catch my breath.. gettin a matchin tudung is alwiz the hardest part, seriously.. it has to be the ryt colour, the ryt design, the ryt price, and it has to match.. and i am one hell of a fussy pot, so it took quite awhile.. the guys so slept in the taxi on the way home.. haha.. poor things.. =P

sooo exhausted ryt now.. shall wash up.. frm tmr, no more shopping!! i gotta be muggin cos raya itself's takin alot of time...

raya's in 3 days!!! weeeee.... can't wait!! and this yr, shah will go visiting wit my family also.. this shud be fun.. haha.. did i mention my cousin will be here? =P yeah!! brace urself for the ultimate showdown.. haha... jus kidding.. =S

2005-10-29T22:46:00.000+08:00

jus got home.. happy b'day khai!! met up wit the gang today, and gorged ourselves at pizza hut!! ohmigosh.. i think we all ordered too much.. haha.. oh well, wat the hell.. i cud use the extra pounds.. ;)

i was diana b4 tat.. we girlies had a ball of a time splurgin on make up!! all in the name of festive season yeah?

after the whole dinner wit the gang, strolled outside indochine.. ooooh, the house band.. they sang simple plan's untitled, which was nice.. but after tat, they started singin goo goo dolls's iris... aaaaaahhh!!!! my gosh, i sooo wanted to cry.. so much emotion runnin thru me, but as usual, i shan't elaborate.. *sniffs*

to my mummy, i lups u many many.. i miss ur deelicious cookin, and i miss crawlin in bed with u every mornin.. i miss comin home frm skl and rambling on non-stop abt my day in skl.. i miss makin u cry every time i top the class, or wenever i perform on the piano.. i miss being doted on, knowin i'm alwiz ur fav.. i miss cuddling next to u and watchin tv.. hehe.. haiya... bottom line is, i miss u.. =)

think i'm gonna download iris..

shah baby, u look superb in tat new topman shirt.. i loike!! =)

2005-10-27T21:47:00.000+08:00

my sis and i havent seen each other for weeks cos she's been over at my dad's, and i've been here at my mum's.. so, slow as it may seem, i jus found out her name appeared in the straits times!! haha...

basically, they were doing a feature on the, i quote, "now-famous" 3Dash1 and their wonderful self-written songs.. of late, ashik, the frontman, keeps dedicatin and writin songs for my sis and mentionin her name in his gigs.. haha.. yup, so.. there u go.. =)

obviously its not like, taufik-mania or anythin, but ppl actuali approach ashik and my sis wen they're out in town.. his fans will like, talk to him and compliment the songs.. and sum noe her too!! her name, at least.. =) gd for her..

guess its abt time i go to one of his gigs.. i've missed the ones at skl of rock (their shot to fame as victors), the esplanade, hard rock cafe.. next up will be at cineleisure, nov 11th.. and suntec city, nov 19th.. =)

anyway, my 1min chinese speech went well i think... =)

jus enjoyin the weather now..

laadeedums..

alryt peeps.. nites!! =)

2005-10-25T22:58:00.000+08:00

i'm feelin rather plsed ryt now, cos i figured sumthin out..

see, i've attended my history lecture only twice since the semester started.. the first lecture, and the mid terms.. during my mid terms, i sat behind 4 malay guys.. one of them, who sat on the extreme left, kept turnin behind and starin at me.. so watever la.. i had even gone to the front of the lecture b4 the test started, to talk to selva.. and on the way back to my seat, yeah.. he was ooglin still.. i even rmmbr tellin shah abt it after the test, cos the guy was rather cute la.. i wasn't interested, but cudn't help gloatin a lil to my bf.. hehe..

now, see.. the married couple i mentioned in the entry b4, on the wife's blog, she kept mentionin how the hubby was a history buff.. and tat he wans to teach history sumday.. and him being 21, puts him in first yr, ryt?

so u noe wat i've figured out? tat guy, who kept starin, was the married guy!! i burst out laughin to myself wen i'd put 2 and 2 together.. tsk tsk tsk.. so terrible.. i tot it was bad enuf my cuz-in-law hittin on me.. tat was a disaster tat saw everyone in my family angry... at him, i mean.. including my grandparents.. and he was married to my cuz for 2 yrs wen he did tat.. but this couple jus got married april this yr, and the mid term was in sept.. i'm speechless!!

do all married man behave this way? i called shah immediately to tell him abt it, and i think.. i dun wanna get married, after all.. haha.. i mean, look at this.. it dun look like we women can trust men.. haha.. or maybe its normal to be ooglin at other gals wen u already hav a wife? sheesh.. i dunno...

i guess its true wat they say.. temptation is everywhere.. and only wen u can resist it, can ur marriage stand the test of time.. and for all the singles out there, nvr get involved wit a married man.. nvr!! dun ever respond to them.. for if u do, the one to blame, is jus u.. the married couple is them.. the third party, tat's u..

pls god, dun bring anymore married man down my path.. i dun wan any trouble.. =P

2005-10-25T14:49:00.000+08:00

hmm... i found another married couple in nus.. yes, both 20, as well.. i noe ppl who work all their lives and still, are unable to afford such grand wedding.. but this.. i'm speechless.. 3 ceremonies, 5-tiered cake, wedding dinner at the grand hyatt.. goodness.. how lucky for them..

click here for pictures.. =)

2005-10-24T13:51:00.000+08:00

happy 14th mth ann, baby!! =)

watching into the blue at JP today.. weee... its been three weeks since i last went to the cinema, so, i'm reali lookin forward to tonight.. hehe...

did so many thgs yesterday.. had my haircut, its shoulder length now.. printed out my essays.. yeah!! i feel soooo accomplished.. and also did 2 essay outlines.. man, i stayed up till 5.. =S and the only reason i managed to do tat was cos i rented sum movies, so watched them back to back to keep myself awake..

i got stage beauty, bride & prejudice and wicker park.. i sooooo wanted to watch a walk to rmmbr again, but it was out.. boo!! anw, nisa was ryt, stage beauty was rather interestin.. very enrichin since i'm takin theatre studies this sem.. bride & prejudice was alryt, tho i found it a lil ridiculous.. hahaha.. sumhow, watchin hindi films, i can take all the singin, and dancing and all the drama.. but watchin the ang mohs doing tat, haha... its silly.. i dunno la.. the whole thg didn't seem to work.. kinda weird.. and wicker park, heh.. i'm watchin tat again.. =P

technically, i've no skl today.. but i've to hand up my essays.. haiz.. so i've to go all the way to skl.. wth? nvm.. will make tmr my free day.. =)

alryts.. hav a gd day everyone.. =)

2005-10-22T22:55:00.000+08:00

actuali,i'm super lazy to update.. but here goes...

woke up super early this mornin, headed to geylang.. my gosh, the tents are so super stuffy.. i swear i cud've fainted.. shah and azhari lagi best.. went to the nearest void deck to chill and left me there to shop on my own.. wth..?

well, got most of our stuffs.. got shah's baju melayu, same colour as mine.. and azhari's is navy blue.. new supplies of brooches for my tudung (they start disappearin after a while.. =P) after abt 4 hrs there, went to orchard for the rest of our thgs..

so at orchard, i bumped into my fren, felicia sun!! haha.. i praised her for her acting on heartlanders.. she appeared in quite a few of the later episodes jus this previous season, as tat messed up teen gal who ended up in hospital.. haha.. i wasn't sure, but i knew tat was her!! nice seeing her again.. she shud've stayed in jjc la.. then we'd hav been classmates like in 1st 3 mths.. =)

and after tat, bumped into andrea decruz and pierre png.. haha.. goodness.. she is soooo white!! =S and pierre png is so tall!! he was like head and shoulders above passers by.. haha.. =P

finally, after all the shopping, went over to fish & co at wheelock place for buka.. guess now i hav a new fav place to makan.. the food there was lovely!! azhari had the seafood platter, shah had the new york cheesy fish & chips, and i had prawn fettuccini pasta with chilli cream.. all of them were soooo gd.. or was it tat we were damn hungry? haha.. no la, the food was dee-li-cio-so.. seriously.. definitely going back again.. ;)

went to JP on the way home cos the guys wanted to hav their haircut.. i was supposed to cut my hair too, but i kinda didn't wanna mess up my tudung.. hee... tmr i shall go..

so tats it.. a day well spent wit two of my fav guys.. now, the only thg i still need to get is my tudung, a small bag and my eyeshadow.. and shah still needs a pair of sandals.. other than tat, we're ready for raya.. hehe.. =)

alryt, i so need to rest..
until tmr!! bye!! =)

2005-10-21T23:16:00.000+08:00

alryt.. jus to cut to the chase, yesterday's high wud probably be buka-ing at diana's house.. thankew sweets, for the warm hospitality.. i'm happy to noe u're a huge bobbi brown/mac sucker too!! =)

and today, gosh.. i had so much free time on my hands.. basically, had a meeting in skl, TS.. a grp of 6 of us hav to choose a play, frm a list of 6, for our prac exam.. there's opera kecoa, phedra, twelfth nite, heartbreak house, thunderstorm and glenn gary glennross.. we singled out phedra cos its set in ancient greek times.. bleugh.. =P hehe.. tat's the unanimous bit..

among the other 5, we were clueless at which to choose.. my vote was twelfth nite.. why? cos we're a grp of 5 gals and one guy.. and the story, basically, has gals disguising as guys.. its a play wit humour in it.. and i was so for it, man.. the only prob is, its shakespeare.. now i'm like thinkin, "so?"..

but well, all the other 5 were pretty much against performin lines of iambic pentameter.. boo... =( i think it'd hav been fun.. *shrugs* its a grp effort, so i guess i'm outnumbered.. now, we're doing the easiest.. opera kecoa, abt 5 prostitutes.. =S

i've no idea how i'm going to play a prostitute, being covered up frm head to toe.. haha.. guess we'll think of sumthin.. ;)

also today, i die-die wanted to go town.. its been weeks, i tell u.. so, i windowshopped for a gd 4 hrs.. i think i've pretty much chosen the stuffs i want.. and make-up, ohmigoodness.. hehe.. i'm jus relishin this moment cos god knows wen i'll get to buy them again.. i reali wanna think it thru.. the bobbi browns and macs are sooo ex!! =S

hehe.. but he said i cud get anythin i like.. weee....!! so, think i'll get the mac glitter eyeliner, and the bobbi brown lip gloss palette.. haiz.. tat's already 100 bucks..

tmr is the day we shall go get all our raya stuffs..!! yaaayyy!! orchard and geylang, look out.. =)

2005-10-19T21:38:00.000+08:00

i luv the weather, but somehow.. i'm in an irritable mood.. =/ yes, i feel irritable, and pissed, and frustrated.. and everythin else negative.. boo!!

2005-10-18T23:12:00.000+08:00

essay qns can be sooo overwhelmingly stressful.. seriously.. sumtimes, they're a whole paragraph long and by the time u read it, u hav a headache already.. =S

nvm.. i hav lotsa time.. shall carefully disect the qns.. ergh..

2005-10-17T23:19:00.000+08:00

i cud blog abt wat i did today, but i shan't.. for today, i spent alot of the time thinkin abt certain stuffs..

this life is full of wat ifs, isn't it? its a terrible habit, but having such vast imagination, i'm one who alwiz ponder on wat this life cud've been.. wat if i went to crescent? wud shah and i still be together? wat if zai had nvr left me? wud i be happy? wud shah be wit sumone else? wat if, wat if, wat if..

if i may say so, i think everyone has regrets.. i hav a few myself.. yes, i deal wit it by not thinkin abt it.. but sumtimes, u can't help but wonderin wat u'd change in ur life, if u actuali cud..

I quote frm a fren's blog, "..human beings thrive on both the good and the bad experiences. Life is never a bed of roses, yet the bad memories keeps us human. They makes us appreciative of good times, and teach us valuable lessons. A heart that has never known pain can never know true pleasure. So we shouldn't choose to escape, to hide or to totally forget. We should in fact remember even bad memories for the quality of that experience..."

makes sense huh?

gloomy tots tonight.. i wun elaborate..
nitez..

2005-10-16T23:30:00.000+08:00

the weather is sooo lovely.. nice and chilly.. looks like a comforting beauty sleep awaits me.. =)

honestly, i feel sore all over.. my arms are all red, black and blue.. why? cos shah and i had a fight yesterday.. and i dun mean a verbal misunderstanding.. more like, we were wrestling our butts off.. hehe.. now now, dun go thinkin it was sum child's play ya? there was sum real ass-kicking going on.. threw huge massive punches at him.. muahaha.. the final damage? i broke his specs, i bite his arm (reali reali hard), his lips bled and his button popped off frm his army uniform.. haha.. and me, i got major aches in my arms and lots and lots of bruises..

we alwiz wrestle.. hehe.. jus for the fun of it.. but yesterday would be like, the most intensed episode yet.. ;) yeah sure, he obviously has more physical strength than i hav, but he nvr has the heart to hit me properly la.. alwiz holding back.. as for me, well.. we noe how cold-hearted i can get.. =P so, full force it was... hee...

apart frm tat, i feel tat this day has been rather productive.. finished up all my essays.. tat's a total of 4500 words for u.. goodness... =S but yeah, feels gd.. i'm a whole week ahead of deadline.. and for once, the words are fully my own.. and i'd done lots of research for it.. hopefully, the professors will like my essay.. *prays earnestly*

b4 i go, i'd like to make a lil shout out to one of my buddies.. sumone who's alwiz around, and shares the same b'day as me.. =) yes azhari.. i mean u.. thx soo much giant for takin care of me wenever shah's bz.. carryin all my baggies, helpin me buy all the food i need, fixing all my computer problems, listenin to all my rants and raves.. thankew thankew thankew.. u're like my big brother and i luv being doted on by u.. and thx for being such a wonderful fren to shah.. we truly luv ur company and i hope all of us will be frens forever, till we all get married and hav lotsa babies.. haha.. =)

alryt.. off to type out my essay.. nitez everyone.. =)

2005-10-15T12:38:00.000+08:00

at which pt did u gather i was angry? cos i er, wasn't? neither did i say tat u said i was directin it to u.. haha.. more like i was thinkin, "oh oops.. she tot i was talkin abt her..?" i was jus pointin out it was a random comment i made.. and wondered why didn't you take TAT wit a pinch of salt? so, my entry abt non-virgins is abt u? you may blog abt a certain "she" and "her" and all this stupid shit, i dun.. i dun blog abt anyone except the thgs i do.. wats so bad abt tat? u dun even noe wen this started? wen WAT started?

why dun i let u in on sumthin.. tat quote u put, as gd as my english is, i didn't understand it at first wen i read it.. cos i didn't think u wanted to hint sumthin to me.. i didn't draw the connection.. haha.. i was like, "oh this means sumthin like her other quotes.. i wonder wat..and i'm lazy to figure this one out.."

i dunno why u're thinkin tat i was offended by sumthin u said this time round.. cos i read my entries again.. and ?????? unlike urs, nothin was abt anyone to begin wit.. i dun like writing abt ppl.. i dun go, "wah hate this gal to the core cos she's yada yada yada.." abt any character or living person, unless i'm talkin abt a specific event, in which, i'd write so.. i dun like makin ppl feel self-conscious and like, oh.. shiq doesn't like a person like me or watever.. so at which pt exactly did u sense my offense? and why did u think i'm mad at u?

i dun think abt the world, and i dun care abt wat they think of me.. why is tat not clear? i luv the world and everythin in it.. cos i dun acknowledge bad thgs in my life.. they dun exist, get it? ppl gossipin, doesn't exist to me.. wat i see is their smiles.. my parents divorce, doesn't exist to me.. wat i see is i've a mum and dad.. my wasted skl yr, doesn't exist to me.. wat i see is i'm doing well in skl this yr.. my broken r/s wit zai doesn't exist to me.. wat i see is tat i hav shah.. and the list goes on.. i only look at wats gd.. tat's how i live.. i FOCUS on the gd thgs.. my life isn't perfect, but to me, it is.. i dun ask, wat i want next.. i say thank god for wat i hav..

and i tot i blogged abt the sig. of fastin mth, my mid terms, the cheater, women, sex, moving, my results, my outings wit foreign exchange students, hari raya, how i feel towards rough ppl, my fascination wit celeb couples, etc etc.. so all this is wat i hav? all this is abt shah? the last time i bought anythin was TWO mths ago and its fastin mth, shah and i dun do anythin together.. unless u mean i can't blog abt how nice i think the new house is? tat's not my house, btw.. i didn't buy it.. but i do like it..

yes, i talk abt guts, cos i dun like doing this.. dun like sumthin then type type type.. wat the hell? i prefered if ppl jus came to me and asked me directly, so they can get an immediate response.. cos if i didn't like sumthin, tat's wat i'd do.. i'd jus tell them straight and tat gives them a chance to justify watever horrible deed i tot they did.. all this typin and assumin.. bah.. its jus like liking ppl, i jus go ryt up to them (if i reali do like them la) and say, "hey.. i like u.. how?" or "my gawd, i think u are soooo beautiful" haha.. like wat i jus told christina..

my pt is tat, i dun like wonderin.. come clean and put it out front!! didn't u hear, assumptions is the mother of all fuck-ups? so, if i tot u said sumthin, i'd call u.. did i not? i already done tat, so if u pissed me off again, wat the heck makes u think i wun do it again to clarify sumthin else? its jus clarifyin.. not putting out an army for war and shit like tat.. but i didn't.. and i'm bz.. i swear i'm even too bz to make a phonecall to shah these days, u think i got time to sit ard feelin hurt abt YOU ?

oh, btw.. where i think ur pt is valid is abt changin the password thgy.. i'll think abt tat one.. thx.. =)

2005-10-15T02:10:00.000+08:00

U ARE THE DEVIL.. U ARE THE EGO-MANIAC.. U'RE WORSE THAN AN EGO-MANIAC.. I SPIT ON U.. SPIT, SPIT, SPIT, SPIT, SPIT, SPIT ON U!!! PUEEEEEEEEEEYYY!!!

hahahahaha... still catchin my breath frm tat play.. it was uber abstract.. goodness.. but, guess tat's gd.. i hav lots to write abt for my essay.. weeeee..... =)

and after the play, woo-hoo... 4 jjc hot hunks waiting for us wor... all look so nice nice one.. but too bad we didn't take any pics of them.. us gals, however, took tons!!!! hehe.. as usual.. =P so, there was wan and nisa, me and shah, rafie and christina, daisy and azhari.. went to esplanade to eat the satay.. and us gals had a hell of a time complainin abt the bfs.. hoho.. these boys ah, haiyo.. dunno wat to say.. =P =P =P

no la.. they were such dears, reali.. promise to put up the pics tmr cos they're all wit christina.. christina darling, holler at me wen u wake up, ya? =)

yin, in case u haven't noticed, my blog is a private one.. its my diary, and ppl can't read it, tat's why not meant to offend anyone? so offended for wat? haha.. i wasn't talkin abt u.. i nvr mentioned anyone's name, neither did i directed it to anyone.. unless u hav a reason for thinkin so? hmmm..... =P oh, but wat i do think is not very nice is for u to write out my name and accuse me senselessly cos of the mere crude jokes i make to myself.. tsk tsk tsk.. how unethical of u..

havin taken a law module, lemme give u a lil feedback.. there are certain ethics to blogging.. its all over the papers actuali.. wat u've jus done is slander.. if i had a million dollars, i cud most definitely sue u, did u noe? dun do tat next time, hor.. childish gal.. it may jus cost u a bomb.. ;) and next time u wanna say sumthin, say it ryt to me, why dun u.. cos, if u hav strong enuf accusations to put out, then u shud hav the guts to say it to me ryt?

oh, read this up and be done wit it ya? cos i'll be changin my password.. dun need any small-minded ppl readin my bloggie.. hehe.. and go concerntrate on ur a's la, hor? makin ppl angry will only make others curse u.. dun wanna hav a downfall during the big exams, do u? heh!! =)

alryt peeps.. hav the sweeeeeetest dreams.. MUAH!! =)

2005-10-14T15:45:00.000+08:00

me lups u many many, my baby... thankew.. =)

I've fallen in love. I didn't think such violent things could happen to ordinary people.

Laura, Brief Encounter..

aaaaw... =) tat explains it.. =)

2005-10-14T14:19:00.000+08:00

jus got home frm skl.. shall get ready.. waiting for azhari.. we're packin our clothes and sleepin over at my mummy's place.. nisa and wan are already here.. hehe.. we're all gonna watch a play near victoria theatre.. the title's animal vegetable minerals.. dumb, i noe.. but us theatre studies students hav to do a review on a play.. so, no choice lor..

nisa, christina, daisy will be there too.. so, we bringin the bfs.. hehe.. shah, rafie, wan (maybe) and azhari will be there.. probably get sum dessert after tat.. =)

got my history paper back too.. its supposed to be my worst paper, but i think i did ok.. still an A.. plus.. =)

ok ok.. better go now.. need to fix my tudung cos its messed up again... ergh.. actuali, my make-up-ing only takes fifteen mins.. but wearin my tudung takes anythin between 5 mins, to 2 hrs to look jus rite.. so frustratin sumtimes.. =( well, lookin at it on the bright side, at least its better den ... like, havin all my teeth out of place.. hahahaha... tat i wudn't be able to fix wit my hands, wud i?

anyway, thx for listenin guys.. =)

alryt then.. bubbye!! =)

2005-10-13T20:09:00.000+08:00

torn between the guy of your dreams, and your soul mate... at which pt do u draw the line?

firstly, congrats to nisa for her full marks in TS quiz.. =) poor gal, was so shy wen the lecturer called her out to give her a lil pressie in front of the whole theatrette.. haha.. at least now we noe, she's the first one to score a fullmarks since yrs..!! *hugz*

next, i got my chinese mid term back.. and yes, i'm happy wit my 90 percent.. but i was pissed off, cos mr boom next to me got a 95.. i reali, reali wudn't mind, except for the fact tat the marker had miscalculated and given him extra 10 marks by mistake.. and i was absolutely appalled tat he refused to be honest abt it and correct the mistake.. =/

u noe wat? its fine.. keep tat those marks u soooo didn't earn.. but i muz say, it reflects terribly on ur integrity.. i despise dishonest ppl.. its not abt the marks u get, its abt how much u learn and how much u noe.. its sad tat u're missing the whole pt.. so, dun gloat.. i'm not impressed.. and do me a favour.. pls stay away frm me.. i do not wan to be associated wit such a person.. in my eyes, u degraded urself.. hmph!!

i jus rmmbred last nite, i was counsellin one of my frens who called me and asked me wat she shud do cos her bf of 3 yrs has broken up wit her.. well, u noe.. shit happens.. i alwiz tell shah tat if he ever start to wonder wat it'll be like to be wit a certain other person, he shud go be wit her and find out.. if he's happier wit her, well.. tat's tat.. but if he prefers to be wit me, at least wen we do marry and he sees tat gal, he'd noe for sure.. there's nothin there.. no need to wonder anymore.. tat's how i feel.. no pt being wit sumone who feels uncertain, or worse still.. whose heart is elsewhere..

but then she let on on how she's lost her virginity to him.. =S tat made me lose my train of tots..

to me, sex is not a trivial thg.. there's no such thg as casual sex.. i mean, wat is tat..? is ur "hole" reali jus meant for anyone and everyone who comes ur way? i'm not lookin down on my fren, or anyone who has "popped the cherry".. i'm jus of the opinion tat ppl ought to think thgs thru b4 takin such a big step..

for me, no one in this world is worth all tat pain.. in hell, i mean.. no one .. i will not be swept away by words like, "i'll nvr leave u" or, "i'm going to marry u anyway".. if a guy reali luvs u, he'd wait.. he'd think the world of being jus next to u.. and he wudn't need sex b4 he's satisfied. as muslims, we noe the punishment of such acts.. shah's nvr asked me for tat, thank god.. but even certain thgs i wudn't do.. there has to be a limit.. all i'd say is, "if u genuinely luv me, why wud u wish such punishments on me? do u feel i deserve to go thru all tat?"

even married couples leave one another.. wat makes u so damn sure ur bf, who's not bound to u in any way, wun? trust me, the possiblity is there no matter wat he says.. think abt it, are u being fair to ur future husband? tat he screws u bearin in mind tat sumone else's gun has been in there? sorry to be blunt, but reali..

i'm sure there are ppl simply unfortunate and they lose their virginity against their own will, and stuffs like tat.. but for the rest of us who do hav a choice.. we shud do ourselves justice by makin the ryt one, no?

Disclaimer: Simply my opinion, and names of character are concealled to respect their privacy..

2005-10-12T20:22:00.000+08:00

wat a fantastic day.. FANTASTIC!!!!! weeeeee..... =) its a perfect day... *sighs of content* =) =) =) i'm soooo incredibly happy, i feel like nothin in the world cud ruin my mood... =)

ok ok.. lets start wit last nite.. abt like 1 am, i was up talkin away wit my baby, wen.. uh-oh.. i realised tat i haven got any food wit me for the 4am meal b4 fasting.. my mum's over at her house so, there's jus me and my bro, who'd be fastin.. and no food.. so, wat did he do? he went straight out to mobil, grabbed for me a delifrance egg mayo croissant, deli muffins, fan choy, and a chicken pie.. and he scooted over to my place within the hr.. ahh.. bless... =)

i'm not gonna say, i was surprised.. i wasn't.. but shah baby, u nvr fail to blow me away.. its so wonderful to noe there's tat one person who cares for no one else but me.. and i absolutely enjoy seeing the unprecedented measures u take to show it.. i lups u, dear.. =)

ok ok.. now, on to today... haiz.. =) i had sociology tutorial, and we were to get our mid term paper back.. rmmbr how i was rantin & ravin abt havin screwed up the paper? well, guess wat???? i topped it.. weeeeeeeee...... =) hehe.. *blushes* oh, its jus the mid terms.. but it was such pleasant news.. weeeee....... =) no more mcq leh, it was essay..!! erk.. tat was a tough one.. and i noe, i noe.. i can't be too happy.. but yes, i feel like my hard work was paid off.. =)

then, we had theatre studies prac.. all 10 pairs had to act out the play.. and we were being graded by all other students and teachers.. and we had to sum up who we tot was the best pair.. and guess wat?? hahahahah... yeah, me and meng chuan were voted.. weeee.... =) ohmigoodness.. nora samosir told the two of us to re-enact our play, and she complimented our every gesture, explainin why it was highly appropriate why we did wat we did.. =)

actuali, it was a pretty tough fight... i tot joy and nara, and nisa and kamal were reali gd too.. but well, this is totally jus on the unprofessional level.. =) i was more happy to find out i cud act.. haha.. sing, i noe.. but act? i've nvr reali tot of tat.. do i like it? er, not reali.. i mean, i'd gave it my best since it was to be graded, but to take it seriously.. haha.. i think, nvr!! =P

haha.. so floatin on air ryt now.. i'm also thankful i completed my prayers.. berjemaah wit shah's family too.. =)

this is such an overwhelmingly gd day.. pls pls pls let there be plenty more like this.. =)

2005-10-10T21:28:00.000+08:00

Ugly. Is irrelevant. It is an immeasurable insult to a woman, and then supposedly the worst crime you can commit as a woman. But ugly, as beautiful, is an illusion...

Margaret Cho =)

2005-10-10T19:46:00.000+08:00

haluuu... =) i'm back frm spendin my first nite in my new home.. weeee.....

it is absolutely beautiful!! i noe i swore off condos b4 cos i found them very tiny, but not this one.. basically, there's 4 bedrooms plus one maid's rm, all furnished wit built-in furnitures and marble floorin.. every rm has its own air-conditioner, and the living rm has 2 aircons!! the fridge has 6 doors and there're 3 bathrms!! the biggest bathrm is in the master bedrm, complete wit a bathtub and a marble top sink.. =)

the exterior facilities are very normal tho.. there's the usual tennis court, an air-conditioned study rm, a games rm, a karaoke rm, bbq pits, a gym (shah wud luv this!!), and my fav is the swimmin pool.. i dun like swimmin, but last nite, i explored the place wit my sister, and i think the atmosphere by the pool is lovely at nite.. can so picture shah baby and i sittin by the pool talkin the nite away.. =)

so, wat do i think of the new house? i think its fantabulous!!!!!! =)

also, yesterday, went splurging at the candy empire.. spent a gd fifty bucks on candy!! tsk tsk tsk.. bought 6 willy wonka bars (yummy!!), and chips, muesli bars, etc etc.. no wonder i've such a bad cough now.. me also down wit the flu.. boo...!! hope it goes away soon..

fastin mth, so far so gd.. patience is slowly becomin my virtue.. =) i'm no longer bothered by gals who're obviously not in my league.. very focus wit my ibadah puasa.. and also keepin myself bz wit skl work.. reali hope to get my 3 essays done, and study as much as possible.. so tat i can spend raya stress free.. =)

baby, look how far we've come? we're so different frm last fastin mth!! haha.. i'm so happy.. =) lups u, baby.. lookin forward to our dates.. next fri, sat and sun.. we both need haircuts.. shoes, bags, tudungs, contact lenses for me.. beetlebug slippers, baju melayu, topman shirt for u.. ryt ryt ryt? =)

alryts.. off now..
toodles.. =)

2005-10-08T22:38:00.000+08:00

this is definitely a gd day.. first day i cud properly fast.. and alhamdullilah, i completed it wit all 5 prayers and 8 rakaats of terawih.. =) actuali, i prayed magrib berjemaah wit shah's family.. feels gd prayin together.. feels like family.. =) this is a first, but it wun be the last.. =)

a lil update on yesterday, shah and azhari slept over.. and they kept on hogging the comp cos of tat stupid online game.. *rolls eyes* wat's it called? guild war? watever it is la.. the guys actuali stayed up aaaaalll nite playin tat.. haiz..

for now, me is all alone.. the bro, the sis and the mumzie has gone over to the new house.. i'll probably go over tmr or sumthin.. and my bad, its not chesterville.. its chestervale, at bangkit rd.. oh well.. =P

i noe i said this b4, hehe.. but i sooo can't wait for raya shopping.. =) there're no clashes wit exams this festive season, so nothin's stoppin me frm enjoyin raya to the fullest.. hehe.. and i happily realised a moment ago while shah was here, tat this is the 2nd raya we're spendin as a couple.. =)

alryt.. shall study a lil.. =)
nitez..

2005-10-07T14:50:00.000+08:00

home frm skl.. =)

jus wanna update on yesterday.. firstly, in chinese class, we had to present a conversation wit our partner.. its like, role playin btw the shopkeeper and a customer.. so, i was the customer.. hehe.. after every pair, the laoshi goes on to correct watever mispronouciation or wrong usage of phrase.. but he said i did pretty well, and didn't correct anythin i said.. weee.... so, tat was gd.. =)

then in the evenin, there was this event by the malay society, where we had to gather lots of ppl to break fast together.. and we were encouraged to bring our non-malay frens.. so, of cos, i brought peter and ahmad, both frm the states.. and nisa dragged daisy along.. i think it was reali interestin cos they had the traditional malay kenduri layout where all food on the floor.. every 4-5 persons ate together in a big tray and we all ate wit our fingers.. haha.. it was hilarious teachin them to eat wit their fingers properly..

they also set up a silat performance.. after which, i was so glad i'm not in silat, despite my prior interest.. haha.. peter was like whisperin, "my goodness.. this is reali intense!!" and seeing the pairs being thrown on the floor, he said, "...and to think tat cud hav u.. " oh man, yeah.. i cud sooo break my bones.. =S

on the way home, i called my baby cos he wanted to pick me up.. instead, his mum picks up the phone.. and well, she is reali nice and all.. but like, erm... wan? she's kinda coarse ard the edges.. so, she speaks rather loudly and roughly.. and i kinda took offense in tat, i guess.. so wen i met him, i started to cry and i told him wat happened.. he comforted me and told me he'd talk to her abt it..

then, we met azhari.. so, seeing tat i'd been cryin, shah told him wat happened.. and he was like, "huh? like tat only?" =P

here's more.. wen 3 of us got to my place, i started tellin my mum abt, and yes.. i cried again..!! so my mum laughed as i was cryin in her lap, and told shah, "at home, nobody can shout at shiqin.. she kena abit only, cry like dunno wat like tat.. she's jus like tat, so her father & i alwiz talk to her nicely and nvr, ever cane her.. she's the spoilest one.." hehe.. and shah jus responded by sayin tat he knows tat very well and will talk to his mum abt it.. =)

tat's tat.. and today, pay day!! i'll see wat i feel like doing.. =)

alryts.. holler in later, maybe.. =)

2005-10-05T22:12:00.000+08:00

first day of fastin was alryt.. i noe, i noe.. i wasn't fastin.. but it felt like it anyway..

peter alwiz tells me he'll only go to lecture if i'll go.. does this mean i'm resposnisble for his absence half the time then? haha... yes, mr in-hyuk.. i'll go to lecture this friday and look for u in the lecture.. i promise.. ;)

hmm... u noe LKY's grandson is in arts ryt..? well yeah, he alwiz sit ryt in front.. not as in front row, as in on stage.. haha.. yup.. and he usuali adds comment wen the lecturer makes sum kinda reference to singapore or sumthin.. he's the only student who speaks out loud in lectures.. and everyone would be like, "woah!!" haa..

azhari sleepin over tmr... hehe...

and nisa, tmr shall we go ifta? shall we? shall we?

looks like i gotta make sum phonecalls...

random tots..
toodles!! =)

2005-10-04T22:11:00.000+08:00

this yr, i got everythin i wanted and everythin i wished for.. but in a way, i've lost even more..

guess this quote (by haley james scott in one tree hill) is significant enuf for me to use it twice.. it saddens me to noe tat sumtimes, time cannot heal past wounds.. jus as it saddens me to hav realise tat my heart's too broken.. my only grief surrounds this, and its only this much tat i'll say.. u'll only hear me, if u listen to wat i'm not sayin..

movin on, fastin mth is here.. i will not be fastin tmr, cos its tat time of the mth and i'm also still on medication.. but my goosebumps rose already wen i saw the terawih prayer place.. =) the whole purpose frm fastin is not jus to refrain frm food intake, but to refrain frm indulgin in anythin.. moderation is the key..

so, my aspirations this fastin mth is tat i'll refrain frm..
talkin unnecessarily..
gossipin..
skippin prayers..
being too happy..
being too sad..
being too angry..
cryin..
laughin..
procrastinatin..
losin my temper..
going out..
any physical contact wit the opp. sex..

yes, i can see tat tat's alot to do, but havin gd intentions is probably a gd start.. insyaallah, i'll be able to.. will also spend my time reflectin on impt lessons i've learnt this past yr.. decide wat to take wit me, and wat to leave behind.. can't wait to hear the peaceful takbir hari raya at the end of all this.. haiz.. perhaps this fastin mth will be the best one yet.. =)

happy fastin to all my muslim frens.. =)

2005-10-03T23:46:00.000+08:00

so... her name's wati.. she's a wati...

2005-10-03T00:15:00.000+08:00

7 things tat scare me:

1) death to me or to anyone ard me*shudders*

2) the dark

3) failure

4) losing weight

5) livin my life differently frm how i want it to be

6) not marryin the luv of my life *tat's quite sad ryt?*

7) being ordinary *i'm much too special & i've alwiz stood out.. haa!! & tat's "stood" out, not "stuck" out*

7 things i like most:

1) my family *this includes my baby*

2) my life *it's one hell of a bed of roses*

3) my friends

4) shopping!!

5) makin ppl i luv happy

6) try new thgs *wit confirmation tat i wun regret it*

7) lookin chic & classy.. *not cute, not simple, not hip, not punk.. hell, no!!*

7 most random thgs abt me:

1) only eat my cereal soggy!! hehe..

2) only walk on ppl's left

3) used to lots & lots of positive attention frm family, frens, luv & suitors!! *wat can i say? startd waay back in grade skl.. haha!! =)*

4) i luv being small, tanned and slim!! *nvr wished i was any different*

5) my right knee cracks wenever i walk up the stairs

6) i hav a very schmelly, germful pillow i muz sleep wit every nite!!

7) i luv to look at very pretty gals too!! *not a les tho...*

7 things i plan to do before i die:

1) travel to europe, the americas, africa, australia and new zealand

2) marry the luv of my life

3) make babies

4) achieve sumthin wonderful *a 1st class honours wud be nice*

5) meet one of my idols *hilary duff?*

6) repent to the ultimate fullness *insyaallah*

7) collect few mths of my pay, then travel to a 3rd world country & jus randomly give out $$
*i dun preach abt thgs like this.. i jus do them*

7 things i can do:

1) bungee jump

2) whine all day

3) sing like an angel

4) prioritse luv above everythin else

5) memorise essays in minutes!! *try me.. heh..*

6) get addicted to thgs i like & take in huge doses of them *such as the internet, movies, songs, food*

7) scream my head off at anyone, anytime, anywhere =P *if u piss me off enuf.. like the time i yelled at the principal of a pri skl.. heh..*

things i can't do:

1) sports

2) eat alot *dun eat everythin & dun eat alot of wat i can eat*

3) control my temper *heh.. sumtimes la..*

4) pretend *laugh wen thgs aren't funny, get excited over stupid stuffs, act like i dun care abt ppl impt to me, blah blah..*

5) be in a r/s wit jus anybody.. haha.. *sorry sikit, eh?*

6) can't see ppl cry.. *i'll cry too!! worst case was wen i startd cryin cos my 4 yr old cousin cried!! =S*

7) hate ppl i luv *no matter how i hard i try, it ain't happenin..*

7 things i say the most:

1) i wan *fill in blank* haha.. =P

2) eeew!!

3) i luv u, baby..

4) huh?

5) goodness!!

6) tat's why!!!!

7) anythin la..

7 celeb crushes:

1) josh hartnett

2) chad michael murray *available again!!*

3) orlando bloom

4) jon jonsson

5) shane west

6) bon jovi *pls let my hubby still look tat gd after 40!!*

7) shah!! hehe.. he's quite a celeb ryt? no? ok then, tom welling.. =)

2005-10-02T23:57:00.000+08:00

hollerin' in.. =)

sleepover was fantabulous!! stayed up all mornin.. watched movies, played computer games, x-box, chit-chat, ordered mcdees, snacked away.. also got to see the tender side of wan.. haha!!

wan: nisa, come here play x-box wit me..
nisa: no..!! dun wan la.. i hate computer games..
wan: ok ok.. u nak main puzzle bubble eh? come, i look for puzzle bubble k? come here.. =)
me: huh? why puzzle bubble?
wan: its the only game she knows how to play..

*he goes to the laptop and looks for nisa's puzzle bubble for her to play.. awww... *

so wan and i paused our x-box racing game to entertain nisa wit her baby game, puzzle bubble.. hahaha.. =P how long ago was tat la, dey.. primary skl leh!!

hung out wit the baby today.. yes, lup lup lup..

fastin mth is here.. shall fast properly this time, ryt syg? can't wait to do raya shopping.. =)

will be sendin in another entry soon after this one.. feel like doing this survey/ qnnaire thing i saw..!! hee...

2005-10-01T21:42:00.000+08:00

yippeeeee.... sleepover tonite.. =) me happily anticipatin wan's and nisa's and shah's and my sis's fren's arrival.. hehe..

feelin better already, but the eyes are stil bloodshot red.. boo.. =/

went to town wit shah today.. as usual, took 502 home.. and we sang our way home.. hahahaha.. our fav song, the one by crazy frog.. axel f.. haha.. i bet we looked dumb singin tat silly song.. its hilarious.. if u dunno wat song it is, u can click here.. =D

hmm... was jus thinkin abt last week or sumthin wen nisa told me she was fallin into depression cos she felt she's no real friends.. well, tat's not true babe.. a person either has few very gd friends, or many acquaintances.. sum ppl go on wit their lives without ever finding any bossom friends, and tat's quite a pity ryt? so dun feel tat way.. i hav two wonderful friends, and so do u.. and tat's hard to come by k? the most impt thg is tat we hav the ppl ard us who matters.. =)

i wudn't be surprised if anyone told me they feel this way in uni.. i mean, independence is a big thg to handle.. so, its not alwiz easy.. i've plenty of friends in ntu who are takin skl reali easy, partyin the semester away.. and tat's not such a bad thg.. we've come this far after all.. but there're also the muggers who devote their time to actual studyin (like wat i'm tryin to do.. haa!!).. tat's not such a bad thg either.. uni life is reali how u wan it to be.. all up to u..

but at this stage, we've to stop being insecure wit ourselves.. i noe in computing, the malay students are a small grp.. so wat they did for first sem is to take ALL of the same modules.. haha.. tat's kinda cute.. i mean, i noe how easy it is for u to go for lessons wit ppl u noe and ppl u're comfortable wit.. but it can't alwiz be like tat.. u noe? like, u can't possibly bid for all the same modules all 8 sems ryt? and even if u wan to, its not ryt either..

for me, i dun reali care if i noe anyone in the class or not.. i take the lessons i like.. in lectures, give me one min and i'll noe all the ppl ard me already.. i may not noe all their dirty flaws, but i noe enuf to hav a gd acquaintances in class.. =)

usuali, one makes frens in CCAs.. so by ryt, babe.. u can't complain cos u're in one, i'm not.. but the CCA u're in is malay society (haha!!) so, i dun blame u either.. =P see, only few weeks into the sem and u're complainin abt the ppl already.. hate to say this, but i told u so lor.. =P hehe..

anyway, movin in to my mum's house next week, i think.. its a condo in bukit panjang called chesterville.. hmm.. haven't seen it yet, but sounds promising.. my sis is super happy cos there're 4 bedrooms instead of 3, so we're all gettin our own room.. this dun mean i'm leavin the maisonette forever tho.. hell, no!! its nearer to skl and to my baby, definitely spending alot of time here as well.. we'll see how it goes.. =)

alryt.. holler in tmr wit pics.. hopefully!!
toodles.. oops.. they're here.. =)

2005-09-30T14:34:00.000+08:00

:(

i dun feel so gd... had to miss lessons yesterday cos my eyes swelled up real bad.. and its not reali the usual eye sore.. this time, my eyeballs are like, bloodshot red.. and, i had major major cramps yesterday.. its weird cos sumtimes, i dun hav em' at all.. and sumtimes, i hav em so bad i can barely walk.. haiz.. so, stayed in bed yesterday.. i've got a 2 day mc.. even the doctor was laughin at me (in a teasin way la..)..

i liked the doctor by the way.. a malay lady wearin tudung.. so so sweet.. and she was very soft spoken.. hope i get her again next time.. =)

a-a-and, more bad news... chad michael murray and sophia bush are divorcin!! so sad....!!! =( they've only been married for like, 5 mths.. goodness, wat happen.. tsk tsk tsk..

at least sum of my other fav couples are still together.. like joel madden of good charlotte and hilary duff!! and derick whibley of sum 41 and avril lavigne!!

but tat's reali sad abt chad and sophia.. guess thgs like this are actuali written in the stars huh? =(

shah was sooo exhausted after work yesterday, he slept reali early.. so spent the nite chattin wit peter.. basically, talked abt ppl, the different cultures and stuffs.. and he actuali asked me to go get a beer or two wit him.. haha.. wudn't tat be sumthin? =P naah, i dun drink, i dun do drugs, i dun club.. i also told him abt fastin mth comin and i think it'll be great to take him thru the whole experience.. not to make him fast la.. but, i think i might give him a tour ard geylang to look at the stuffs, the food, the clothes and wat-hav-yous.. and come raya, hopefully.. he and all the rest of the chinese biz gang can come over eat the raya goodies.. ryt ryt?

speakin of raya, guess i've to go get my raya clothes.. this yr, i'm wearin yellow.. hehe.. =)

alryt, i'm feelin this burnin sensation in my eyes.. shud go rest..

2005-09-28T19:01:00.000+08:00

ergh....!! mid terms finally over and i am so... pissed!! why? because i could hav definitely secured the A.. gosh, i sooooo cud've.. the pts in my essay were all relavant and very well tot out.. the only prob is tat i may not hav linked it directly to the qn.. now, there's like, a 50-50 chance.. boo!! the wait for the results is jus gonna kill me, and i wud literally chop my head off if i dun get tat A.. AAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!! pissifyin!! =/

but at least the worst is over.. there's chinese tmr and i'm kinda underestimatin the paper.. i've already studied so much for chinese, shan't fret over it now..

a-a-and.. i've realised tat i tend to get sooo caught up in studyin tat i forget everythin else... like eating and sleepin.. i'm serious!! i haven eaten a single meal in two days except for sum slices of bread.. and i didn't sleep last nite at all... gdness.. =S guess i dun handle stress wit grace.. shud work on tat la.. this isn't the first time, and it reali isn't gd for me.. i was trembling the whole day and i cudn't keep my stomach frm growlin in the LT.. haiz..

watched the news yesterday abt sum digestive chocs tat's manufactured by students frm SP.. i tot tat was quite impressive.. and wat was even more impressive was tat i saw Ang Kwok Chye on TV!! hahahaah.. wat the...? apparently, he was one of the 3 students involved in the project.. not bad eh..? he's done JVS proud, and he wasn't even frm the express stream.. cheers for him.. =)

alryt.. tat's it for now.. i need to get sum food! =S

2005-09-26T21:04:00.000+08:00

tmr will officially mark the end of my stuy break.. haiz.. after tat, it'll be muggin on all the way.. i'm kinda feelin sucky, u noe.. like, there's a list of stuffs i reali reali wanna do, but there's soo much restriction cos i wanna keep my focus on skl.. man.. why am i so kan-chiong?

my day started early today.. met selva cos i was panickin abt my history paper tmr.. well, i'm very much enlightened.. haha.. was surprised cos it was pretty gd.. he explained well and he has reali neat writing.. tat's so rare for a guy.. hehe.. =)

then, hung out at the library till shah came cos he's workin half day today.. spent sum time there readin bridal guides together!! haha.. the issue this mth wit jamie and glenn on the cover.. we happily pointed out the thgs we liked.. hmm... i reali dunno whether i wan an early marriage, or a late one.. both has its gd and bad.. nvm, until the real thg draws nearer, i'm contented jus fantasizing.. aaaw... how wonderful it'll be to hav the weddin of ur dreams.. haiz.. =)

also, was browsin thru friendster jus now.. i like janna's pictures.. come to think of it, if i were a guy frm jjc in my yr, i'd probably date janna (if i was rejected by shiqin.. hehe..).. she's reali adorable.. guess tat's why alot of guys did wait in line? if not, i'd go after chengling.. haa.. she seems reali personable and has such a pretty smile.. haha.. yeah, i tot abt gals i'd date, but as a gal, cudn't reali think of any guys who cud make the cut.. leads to another pt doesn't it? there's more pretty gals than there are gd-lookin guys in s'pore.. i'm not tryin to be sexist but its true.. even the mags say so!! muahaha.. sorry guys.. need to buck up.. =P

anyway, mr lee in-hyuk asked me out.. haha.. how sweet.. "i'd like to take u out.. but i dun wanna get in between u and ur bf...." wat only.. i had to turn him down tho, cos was meetin the baby today.. but we'll plan yea, peter? definitely shud hang out before u go back to the states.. =)

shud get back to studyin.. can't wait for this to be over.. i sooo wanna read... haiz..

2005-09-25T18:22:00.000+08:00

the pics are up.. hee.. think they look gd.. reminds me of days wen we were young and innocent.. shah laughed wen he saw me.. "u look exactly the same!!" haha.. yeah, he's the one who went thru massive transformation.. i was jus me.. =)

so, we hung out at the shelter again today.. jus talked abt stuffs.. its so nice to hav sumone reassure u wen u get uncertain.. thankew shah baby, for all of ur truthful opinions.. i've nvr felt tat shah tells me thgs i wanna hear.. he speaks the truth.. it jus so happens tat the truth alwiz makes me happy.. haha.. ;) of cos, wen he can't tell me the truth abt sumthin, he jus won't tell me at all..

and occasionally, he reveals them to me later on.. ergh.. wen he shud've told me at tat very moment.. tsk..!! tat's so irritatin.. wen he does tat, my reaction wud be, "WHY DIDN'T U TELL ME EARLIER....???" and i'd hit him.. hehe.. shiqz is a naughty one.. =P ans? cos the truth can be lethal.. and i.... i'm unforgivin.. so he knows better den to put the two together i guess.. *glares* =P

oh.. nvr mind.. knowin the truth makes u see thgs clearer eh? i dun think anyone's interested in our secrets anyway, but gd to noe i'm not deluded.. =) and pls.. i dun make sweepin statements.. wudn't wanna be in a position where i look weak not being able to defend my own arguements.. ;)

rented princess diaries 2 after tat.. its a nice movie.. much better den the first one, definitely!! 3.5 outta 5 stars.. wud u check out the waredrobe??!! ohmigosh.. haha.. how awesome... =D which jus got me thinkin, u noe how we alwiz wanna be called princesses? well.. it has such a nice ring to it, but reali.. its not tat nice to be princessess.. wat wit all being caged up and stuffs.. hmm... tat's jus my opinion.. and the movie features 'breakaway' by kelly clarkson.. didja noe it was written by avril lavigne? no? well, yeah.. it is.. i think its a fantastic song.. jus goes to show how talented she is.. =)

shah's sister b'day today and the parents-in-law's invited me over.. weee... =)

shall go watch princess diaries 2 again..

luv u baby.. thankew for lettin me be the one u run to jus for watever reason u need to.. =) see u in a bit.. muackz!!

2005-09-25T17:27:00.000+08:00

lemme show u how its done!!

56... 57... haha!! yeah ryt!! =P

u wan me to try? can i do tat one?

i've nvr been kissed by a skl gurl b4.. aaaw..

well, here u go.. muackz!!

hee.. now, there's a happy boy.. =)

yaayyaaayy!! =D

hehe.. my pleasure.. ;)

my baby sweets..

aaah.. this place looks jus the same..

i look jus the same.. =)

is tat ur block?

eh? where's he going?

a walk down memory lane.. haiz..

so nice and windy..

tat's the shelter ipin and i used to go.. the one behind me.. =)

2005-09-24T21:22:00.000+08:00

haha!! took lots and lots of pics today.. jus for the fun of it, since i cudn't go out.. =P

i'd wanted to play dress up, as in.. dress up dress up.. u noe.. like wear my prom clothes, and do stupid hairdos and stuff.. but then, look wat i found...!! my old uniform.. hahaha... wore my sec sch uniform too, which u soooo cannot see.. =P

oh boy, did i luv jc.. and if u knew me, u wudn't hav to ask why.. haha.. it was perfect ryt to the button!! all the wonderful teachers, soccer, rugby, lit!!, gp lessons.. u had to be there to noe wat it was like..

i had a blast being in a girl-dominated class, cos we cud bully the guys.. being very very uptight in sec sch, i was definitely the worrier in class.. only in freshmen yr, tat is.. like wen they drag me out of practically every lesson to go BP to get snacks, or to Prima Deli to get cakes, or to get McDonald's, yeah.. i'll be the little baby irritatin everybody wit, "wat if they catch us? wat if lee hee fock see us? wat if we muz go detention?" and everybody will go, "NO la.... shiqin.....!!!!" haha.. =)

and oh, how i luved malay dance.. hehe.. nvr mind the fact tat mdm salina was alwiz screwin me cos i nvr attend practise.. i luved it cos i nvr had to work at it.. haaaa!!! and i adore being in the center of every performance.. *smilez* i wasn't the shortest ok? haha.. tat was qamariah... =P but, oh well.. kak mas said i had the most "anggek" look.. tat kinda means very arrogant lookin, but not in a bad way.. in the confident, performance way... =)

there's lotsa other pics, but i gotta update them tmr cos my project is due tonight,, f**K!! shah's callin me to pick the video now.. haiz.. continue tmr... =/

2005-09-24T21:14:00.000+08:00

pretty, pretty days.. =)

2005-09-24T10:18:00.000+08:00

did i say i was to stay away? hehe.. well, had such a wonderful day yesterday.. =)

firstly, didn't hav one, but two lunch dates!!! haha.. first one wit lianne and stacey.. and after tat, had another lunch wit nisa and jas.. *hugz* it was great catchin up and stuff.. glad they made me see thgs for wat they reali are.. =) esp. the witty future lawyer.. she totally made everythin looked so hilarious.. like, i gave her sum senarios and asked how she'd react if she were in my position.. and she was all witty and goofy abt it..!! haha.. thx babes.. =)

went for tuition.. can't wait for the PSLE to be over.. i reali cannot relate to my tutee.. cos firstly, i nvr had tuition until JC.. 2nd, i was the sort who got uptight and worried abt all my beeg exams.. u noe? like, i'd be wonderin, "shit..!! which skl/class will i get posted to? how will i do? how how how?" but my tutee... goodness!! he's keepin chill... PSLE 1 and half weeks away but still very chill.. oh well..

went home. both shah and i napped. then we headed to town. grabbed sum dinner. strolled abt. hung out at indochine. choc dipped strawberries. mrs field's. esplanande.

cuddled out there and watched the dark sky turned light.. spent all our time talkin and nappin, and then talkin and nappin again.. of cos, there were times wen we didn't even hav to say anythin.. wat we felt was unspoken, yet mutual.. haiz.. =)

recounted all of our times together.. sec sch days, prefectorial board (where this head of discipline alwiz chewed his butt off.. haha!!).. how we used to sit opposite ends of the class, and wen i scooted over to ask him sumthin, he'd be all silly and tongue-tied.. haha..

had the swensen's breakfast before gettin home this mornin.. =) guess this was a perfect way to celebrate our 13th mths..

might be catchin a movie later.. if there's anythin gd to watch..

next fri.. same time, same place..

its an inexchangeable feelin to noe u mean the world to someone special..
luv u, stinky.. =)

2005-09-23T08:26:00.000+08:00

i feel lyk crap cos i didn't sleep well at all.. woke up like every hr.. and now tat i've to get my butt to skl, i'm exhausted.. boo!! need to get my dose of caffeine.. haiz..

well, the conversation last nite took a twist in its momentum.. not wat i'd expected.. tot maybe she'd say, "yeah bitch.. i think u're like this and u're like tat.." but, naah.. it wasn't like tat.. so, kinda took the opportunity to clear up sum qns i had..

on another note, i shud reali give the malays sum credit.. *shrugs* maybe i'm merely judgin the book by its cover.. not tat were any malay grps in the international skl to start wit.. and i was the only malay in the 4 yrs of my sec class (zarina was chinese and shah's indian).. guess, given wat i heard, i wanted to maintain the barely there relation..

in our 3rd sociology lecture, the lecturer was teachin us to choose a topic b4 we start our research.. and the example she gave was "malays do not do well in the s'pore education system.." well... i wud protest, but like nisa said, "there's nothin to defend..." of cos wen she said tat.. she was talkin abt wan... haha!! =P

strangely enuf, ppl i meet.. like my classmates, and nisa and daisy, my besties, and my chinese frens.. we share the same sentiments.. malays, too much politics.. so, tat worked out jus fine.. like, wen shah first started the work he's doin now in ns, the nurses asked him..

them: so, are u married?
him: huh? no.. *looks ridiculed* why?
them: i tot u malays like to get married faster and start havin children wan..
him: sorry, i'm indian..

laadeedums.. tats tat..

and nisa dearie, i'm so so sorry i cud not meet u yesterday despite the shitty-ness u were feelin.. i was already in town and i had tuition thereafter.. i hope u feel better now.. *hugz* i'll catch up wit u real soon... haiz..

for now, there's skl.. and there's mid terms.. shall try not to blog till tat's over, ie. thursday..

its fri today.. lunch wit darlings lianne and stacey..
this will be a gd day.. =)

2005-09-22T20:00:00.000+08:00

didn't wanna put the pic at first cos i didn't wan anyone to think i was such such such a spoiled brat.. but well, who am i kidding.. ppl noe anyway.. haha!!

yup.. i hav the pink one, but i reali liked the white one too.. so i bought it anyway...

man.. i reali shud start yearnin for thgs.. =P

2005-09-22T19:24:00.000+08:00

woke up frm a nasty dream.. erm, u noe limin? well... yes yes.. she's a very nice gal.. and she wanted shah back!! ohmigod!! i sooo woke up cryin.. wat a horrible nightmare.. immediately had to call the baby, and everythin was alryt again..

me: if she like u again, wud u go..?
baby: no la....!!
me: hehe.. =)

plans today.. ergh.. can't tell u.. cos u'd realise tat i'm one hell of a reali fickle-minded gurly.. haha.. but yeah, i hav plans.. part of it is to study wit nisa again..

yes, yin.. i read ur blog.. =)
i'm not attemptin to advise u.. haha.. i noe u dun need any frm me.. ;) perhaps jus the offer of my pt of view..

everyone shud take their time in finding themselves.. sum ppl hav more imagination than others, like u.. u think u can be this, or maybe tat.. and u can!! so jus take ur time and see wat u wan.. there's nothin wrong wit being fickle (a-hem!!).. =)

one of the rules i live by is not to compare one's self wit others.. by even wantin to see who's livin better off, puts urself lower than where they are already.. i dun do tat cos i hav more than anyone i noe.. all of the thgs i wan, and all the ppl i need.. and no matter how much ppl claim to hav more than me, i hav more.. cos i feel so.. =)

i guess i dunno wat it feels like to hav to want thgs and yearn for them, and feel miserable doing tat.. maybe thgs come too easily for me.. i jus dun understand why it has to be one or the other.. like, why ppl muz hav simple thgs to hav it all, or think they hav it all and reali hav nothin.. but i was happy to find tat i dun fall into either category cos i hav it all, and i noe it.. =)

all my life, i meet ppl so drowned in jealousy.. and i've stopped tryin to understand it.. sum wud tell me, sum wudn't.. there's this chinese-malay gal in my sec 3 sec 4 class who crushed on shah, told her frens abt it, tot i didn't noe and kept buggin me on why i didin't crush him.. (yeah, i've met lots of weird ppl..) its the same gal who said to me back then, "oh, a fren of mine was jus askin me.. why do the popular guys in skl like shiqin? aper yg bagus sangat pasal dia? bukannye lawa sangat.. (wats so gd abt her? she's not even tat pretty..)" haha.. i was kinda shocked, but i jus smiled.. =)

its alryt now.. cos 3 yrs after, she sent me frenster msg last june.. an apology for all her envious times tat prompted her to speak ill of me.. (muslims muz do this cos if not, u'd bring the sins of malignin to ur grave..) no grudges held, zarina teo.. =) i still do hav the msg and i wun delete it cos its a gd feelin to noe ppl hav evolved frm their sec sch childishness..

for me, happiness is a journey, not a destination.. its not a certain one place i think i need to reach before i can be happy.. it'll be a lie to say tat i dun feel sadness.. sure i do.. wen i think of zai, i do.. but for every other time, i'm all smiles..

its gd tat all u wan is a happy family.. leadin the simple life is alwiz gd, cos it allows u to relax and think simple.. otherwise, small thgs wud jus trouble small minds..

shall end this off wit a very cliched quote..
Work like you don't need the money,
Love like you've never been hurt, and,
Dance like no one's watching.

tat's my 2 cents worth...
i noe easy for me to say since my everythin is literal, not jus a metaphor.. but thgs will work out.. give it sum time.. =)

come home soon baby.. i miss u.. =)

2005-09-21T20:54:00.000+08:00

my study session went alryt.. haha.. if i may say so.. ever see anyone study and shop at the same time..? no? haaa... then i muz be reali sumthin.. =D cos tat's exactly wat i did today.. shopped ard while memorisin.. nothin like the talent for multi-tasking.. *grinz*

well, less than an hr i was there, was itchin to shop already.. been searchin for a nice wallet for quite sumtime.. nothin appealed to me.. sum at the wallet shop are not bad, but waay too common.. so, this muz be my lucky day cos i finally saw one tat's worthy of my collection.. haha.. =)

shall go gorge myself in my tom yam noodle.. hee...
toodles!! =)

2005-09-21T20:23:00.000+08:00

i saw.. and i conquered.. haha!!

mastercard.. dun leave home without it.. ;)

2005-09-21T09:23:00.000+08:00

yaaaayyy!! i'm up and abt and ready to start studyin.. hehe.. feelin reali happy and energised.. my notes are ready!! yeah!! =)

contemplatin on going to the national library to study.. shud i bring the lappy? hmmm... think i shall mugg wit nisa..

shah baby so kindly left me the card.. haha.. ill-advised, but valiant of him.. tat's from troy, btw.. =S why is lame being a shiqz? haha..

well, the first thg i'm gettin is the biggest glass of rhumba frapp frm starbucks.. yummy!! hehe.. did i mention, i've finally found a fav at starbucks? yeah, so.. its caramel ice blended frm coffee bean and rhumba frapp frm starbucks.. mmmmmmmm.... how perfect for sweet-toothers like me (much to baby's disapproval =P).. hehe..

looks like i'm using this study break to its fullest.. no skl till mon and tues, mid term starts.. hope it'll be a breeze.. ;)

better get dressed.. i wan starbucks!! =)

oh boy.. haha.. its high time for me ryt now.. lovin my life like nobody's business.. haiz.. i hav everythin.. *beams* =)

2005-09-20T22:01:00.000+08:00

ohmigoodness... i'm havin a headache alrite.. =S

writing essay outlines on "the family" is ALOT harder than i tot.. is the family universal? well, is it? finally, figured out how to organise my ans.. better late than nvr..

nisa and wan came over to hang out.. given the kind of liberation u can get at my house, its definitely a gd place to come over and slack ard huh, babe? =) well, luv the company so i dun mind.. heee..

this is gonna be one very long nite.. haiz..

baby, thank ur cousin for the essays.. will miss u till i see u on friday.. muackz..!! by the way, sorry i bit ur arm.. haha.. i was losing the wrestling match wat.... =P

alryt.. back to where i was..
toodles!! =)

2005-09-19T21:16:00.000+08:00

tsk tsk tsk.. japanese food is HOT on my menu these days.. been eatin nothin else since last week!! chicken teriyaki wit rice, udon noodles wit tempura, sashimi, and lots and lots of sushi!! hehe.. so yummy..

so, i hav one hell of a filled stomach ryt now.. but i bought french vanilla and deluxe choc powder frm coffee bean.. me savin it for later at nite.. heee.... my appetite is jus HUGE ryt now.. =D

jus got back frm JP where shah had yet another hair cut.. and i hav to add, shah baby has been in such wonderful mood these days.. alwiz smiling, and even wen he isn't, his eyes are.. he doesn't mind me kickin up fusses of any sort.. very patiently, he will layan me.. haha.. it's makin him look reali gd, literally and metaphorically.. can't help but to ask, "eh baby, why u sooo handsome today??" hahaha... well, he knows i dun ever praise him.. so wen i do, i mean it.. =)

i'm on a tight agenda, but i feel reali gd abt myself these days.. perhaps i'm doing it ryt this time.. we shall see... skl's great now.. but it's abt to be a blast.. =)

meeting the mumzie tmr.. yippee!! a lovely surprise awaits me..

alryt..
toodles.. =)

2005-09-18T23:07:00.000+08:00

i was hoping erin wudn't be fired.. i think angie is lousy and she's jus bitter tat erin is more personable.. *rolls eyes*

nothin much to update on.. but well, if u dun read my frenster account, this is the song i'm currently in luv wit.. yes yes, i was walkin along orchard indochine and the live band was singing this song.. it is a very nice song, but i think the vocalist yesterday sings much nicer than the real singer.. and it was jus everythin.. made it so perfect.. the gentle breeze, the soothin voice, the music..

love is on the way..
i can see it in ur eyes..
lets give it one more try...

shah and i hav planned to go there this comin fri and jus enjoy the ambience.. =)

i dun wanna think abt anythin else..

2005-09-17T23:45:00.000+08:00

haluuu.... =)

this has been a FANTASTIC day.. headed to town in the evenin.. took 502, and met rafie in the bus.. fuyoh.. berg sia, tat guy.. (christina, u lucky gal!! haha..) yup, so chatted wit him the whole way.. guess he knows i'm tight wit his baobei now.. haha.. if only she was there.. =) dun worry, fie.. next outing, i'll drag her along.. ;)

met up wit the rest of the gang.. wan, khai, nad, damai, shy, naz, fahmi, nicholas, razif, rafie.. and three other chinese guys.. pity i didn't bring the cammie.. haiz.. in addition to tat, saw alot of familiar faces too.. saw she-who-was-outcastd-in-jjc.. haha.. sum of us noticed her, and the whole grp got excited.. wat the..?? of cos, she pretended not to see us.. but she probably did since we were such a big grp, and shah and wan were even callin out to her... haha.. also saw nazirah.. and mirza..

so we were walkin along orchard, and guess wat wan asks nadiah? "nad, kau tak pakai coli eh...? (nad, u're not waerin a bra is it?)" wtf!!!! in front of the whole grp leh.. haha.. goodness, wan.. cud u be a lil more censored? terrible la, tat fella... =P

alryt, we eventuali split up.. then it was back to me and u, baby.. =) strolled all the way frm orchard to ps.. had a heavy, sumptous dinner.. topped it off wit a long, snuggly, cosy, bus ride home..

so, tat's tat.. wonderful day, it was.. the way i'm feelin ryt now reminds me of tat sweet line frm wicker park.. take my picture.. i feel beautiful tonight.. =)

waitin for me sis to come home now.. luv u, sister dearie.. i'm gald we're sooo close and share everythin together... =)

okie then..
nitez!! =)

2005-09-15T22:24:00.000+08:00

i am soooo tired.. workin and studyin at the same time is EXHAUSTING.. left for skl at 9 this mornin, and i jus came home, after tuition and all.. boo...!!

nice weather, ryt now.. perfect weather to be bumpin into him, which i did.. this is the 3rd fortnite, if u wanna noe.. coincidence? i dunno...

jus few thgs i wanna highlight.. stuffs i observed in my lessons..

firstly, theatre studies practical.. we had to sit in a circle, and individually recite numbers frm 1 to 20.. this was to correct and mis-pronounciation.. there are 20 of us in the class, includin me, nisa, daisy, diya, etc etc.. and well, i was reali surprised.. such commonly used words, we take for granted and jus say it any-hoe-how.. alot of us needed correctin.. sum common mistake was how we pronounce "three", cos sum tend to say "tree".. i dun hav tat problem, luckily.. others are numbers like, "five" which we s'poreans usuali say "fai", "eighT" which we say "aid", and "nine" which we say "nai".. eee-yer.. and we're undergraduates, mind u.. how embarrassin.. i tot tat was a pretty interestin lesson yesterday.. =)

today, in chinese biz tutorial.. the thg i wanna pt out is related to the above, tat is.. how we speak english.. in arts, there's many foerign exchange students frm china, and they hav very strong accents.. but despite this, they talk alot.. to me, i think this is alryt.. they wanna make the most of the lesson and voice out all queries tat they hav..

there's this one guy frm china, and he goes on and on and on, and he's sooo inarticulate.. and then, the 4 law students wud start yawnin loudly, and shake their heads, and look bored.. tsk tsk tsk.. i can't stand it.. i mean, how rude!! so u're luckier than sum and u get the luxury of learnin english all ur life.. sum dun.. cudn't u be more accomodatin? i find it rather appallin, these students.. sittin there in class wit terrible body language and f**ked up expressions.. seriously, wat the hell? full of arrogance is wat they are.. =/

and, also i noted.. lots of ppl hav made it thus far.. but it's no thx to their language paper.. alot of students dun speak well at all.. very singaporean soundin, very inarticulate.. my pt is tat, it goes to show tat the content of wat u say, is far more impt than how u say it.. get wat i mean? hmm...

well, tat's tat.. went home wit nisa earlier.. after skl, she was to go over to wan's place, get fuel for his motorcycle, and pass it to him all the way in tanah merah, and then go home without him.. aiyooo... how sweet is tat? haiz.. =) i wonder if i'd do the same if shah asked me to... haha.. =P

a-a-and.. i got full marks for my chinese quiz.. yeah yeah, it was bloody easy, but still... kinda motivatin.. not bad huh? =) well.. off to shower and then gonna sleep.. this has been an ok day..
toodles!! =)

2005-09-14T01:44:00.000+08:00

abt to go to sleep now.. haiz.. exhausted already.. there's jus so many thgs to do.. these days, shah comes over.. we hav dinner and hang out a lil, chat and stuff.. and after tat, we gotta get back to our own stuffs...

feelin a lil sentimental these days.. i miss shah baby so much.. haiz.. if only time wud stand still..

i dun wan to fall to pieces..
jus wanna sit and stare at u..
i dun wanna talk abt it..
and I don't want a conversation..
i just want to cry in front of you..
i don't want to talk about it..
cos I'm in love with you..

i luv u, dear.. =(

2005-09-12T20:45:00.000+08:00

jus finished watchin million dollar baby.. my goodness... how sad.. its a gd show.. 3 outta 5 stars.. haven't cried like tat since ladder 49.. those of u haven't watched it, better go get this one at the VCD stores.. its very, very touchin and heart-wrenchin.. boring at first, but yeah.. it gets better... *sobz* =(

shah baby didn't go to work today.. spent hrs accompanyin him at the polyclinic.. we walked home, and as were passed by JVS, we met mr verma.. haha.. he told us he cudn't recognise shah at all.. ;) makes me happy everytime sumone says tat.. =)

shud go get my dinner.. i wan sum McDees.. hehe..
toodles!!

2005-09-11T22:50:00.000+08:00

this whole week both of us were bz bz bz wit our lives.. so, it was only rite tat we took sumtime off for ourselves.. went visiting at my aunt's first.. stayed for lunch and chatted wit her and all, b4 headin to orchard..

watched the longest yard.. gd show!! haha.. it was hilarious!! my verdict's a 3.5 outta 5 stars.. definitely entertainin.. it was the first time i came across the term McAsshole... haha... =)

ate sum sushi.. strolled abt, window shopped, then took a bus all the waay home.. shah slept on my lap the whole way as we listened to the mp3.. aaah... simple sweetness.. =)

home now.. gonna hit the books soon, i guess...
haiz.. back to reality.. boo...

2005-09-11T22:43:00.000+08:00

darling shah baby.. =)

me...!!

jus me and u.. =)

2005-09-10T23:01:00.000+08:00

me not in the mood to blog.. but, here goes..

yesterday was quite alryt after all.. i actuali had fun.. seven of us in the grp, regina, kristine, vannesa, zhaohui, and 2 foreign exchange students, mary joe, and peter lee.. both are american,but mary joe's mum's taiwanese, tho she reali reali looks all white.. haha.. and peter lee, he's korean-american..

went lunchin together, and it was hilarious!! haha.. we got peter to teach us sum korean.. he's korean name is in-hyuk.. i prefer his korean name.. =) and he was tellin us how mcdonalds was pronounced wit the japanese accent, three syllables become 8 syllable.. haha..

then, off to sun yat sen memorial.. pretty interestin.. sum heart wrenchin pics, sum pics of assasins wit their heads chopped off and their intestines spilling out, deformed feet frm foot-binding.. =S definitely enriched my general knowledge..

we took loads of pics, us goofin ard and all.. there's this one where we were sitting on this very oriental sofa, all sitting straight up and givin stern looks.. haha.. we were tryin to imitate the typical photo of a chinese family back in those days.. but looks like i wun reali be putting them up.. reali bz these days.. i'll hav to give it a miss..

stacey and lianne dearies, friday lunches has become a sweet routine.. haha.. hope it stays tat way.. =)

back to mugging.. 2 more mths and i'm free... haiz..
bye!

2005-09-08T21:54:00.000+08:00

tired....!! ergh..
so little time, and there's so much to do.. did i mention i've not watched tv for weeks now? not even the oc and one tree hill.. how sad is tat? *sobz* =(

my day was alryt.. the chinese quiz was like, soooo easy.. haiz.. dunno wat i was so worried abt.. i'd learnt extra twenty characters!! waste my time only.. i cud've studied other thgs..

oh, had lunch at NUH cos shah was there.. hehe.. he had to sent a patient to the hospital.. =) he bumped into asri and sha too..

rafie's gf, christina, is sooo adorable!! haha.. i like her, man.. alwiz so nice.. and u noe, wen she's talkin to me, she alwiz holds my hands... hahaha... like little girl la.. =)

long day tmr.. i've theatre studies tutorial, history tutorial, chinese biz lecture, and then off to sun yat sen memorial for our chinese biz project.. haiz.. sounds boring to me.. boo...

jus random tots.. ladeedums..

oh oh.. and i am SOOOOO buyin the iPod Nano.. hehe.. shud get the white one to match my lappy.. =)

alryt alryt.. i better go..
ta-ta.. =)

2005-09-07T22:20:00.000+08:00

shah turns 20!! yippee..... =)

my darling baby..

happy b'day, dear!! you're 20.. like, finally!! haha.. =P hope u've had a wonderful b'day so far.. *grinz*

actuali, i called you.. but u sounded so bz.. talk to me also like very sianz.. *sigh* so, nemind la.. decided to write you a letter.. i'm so sorry this letter isn't as creative as the b'day u got last yr.. nor is it as thoughtful as a sweet msg in a bottle (a-hem!!), but maybe, words frm my heartfelt mean to u more than all those.. *smilez*

baby, i luv you.. i noe it's been said like, thousands of times before.. i only hope these words don't lose its significance.. i can't believe we've come this far.. time reali flashed by us, we barely noticed.. =)

i wanted u to noe tat, i love all the laughter we've shared.. i nvr get sick of ur jokes, ur tickles, ur warm hugz & sweet kisses.. there's no one i'd rather share my life with, than with you.. thankew for not waverin, all those times i was unsure and all those times our love was put to the test.. surely all the anxiety was worth it rite, now tat we are here? =)

we may go thru bumps along the way.. but i'm glad we are 2 ppl who talk thgs out, fight it out, and then decide together wat's rite for us and wat it is we ought to do.. cos at the end of the day, me & u is all tat it comes down to.. so, let there be obstacles, situations tat try to get between us.. we noe only too well, tat it makes us stand even closer.. =)

without me, who'll make funny faces to amuse you? who'll nag u & push u to go beyond wat u can do? who'll whine all day & allow u to witness the extend of ur patience? =D

looks like, u need me.. rite, shah baby? hehe.. *winkz*

and baby, thankew for quittin tat smokin habit of urs.. u knew i wanted u to, tho i've nvr said it.. and now look, u're nearly there.. thankew thankew thankew.. *keez* =)

my b'day wish for u this yr, is so tat u'll find all the joy life can bring.. and tat for once.. life will be abt u, not those who surronds u.. =)

love alwiz..
baby luohan -( @

celebratin the b'day at shah's place was, sum wat different, as expected.. we all had to be seated at the dining table and read our prayers led by shah's father himself.. =S no parties watsoever hor.. it kinda became a solemn ceremony.. haha.. ok la, jus the first bit.. =P after tat, everyone got bz gorging themselves.. haha..

took sum pics.. but i'm too tired to upload them now, or to go on typing.. besides, i hav a chinese quiz tmr.. yikes!!

oh, and shah showed me a frenster msg he received frm sum gal he's nvr met.. how puzzling for gals to send msges startin off wit, "u hav such a beautiful gf....." haha..!! if she wans to noe him, shudn't she go straight into it? or is this normal? i dunno, but beatin ard the bush is sooo not my style..

a-a-and.. i jus wan to add tat i'm reali surprised at the number of smses and msn msges askin me where i got tat grey top frm.. haha.. guess the crap i went thru to get it is not so wasted after all.. =) but sorry ladies, no more liao..

i got to go mugg a bit more.. haiz.. skl tmr.. sianz..
i'm off!! toodles!! =)

PS. so sorry, i cudn't attend ur wedding last sat, ms. rappa.. i reali did wanna go.. but nonetheless, miss ya sooo much!! congratulations on ur wedding..

PPS. those of u sappy suckers like me, u can browse their pretty pretty wedding photos at www.koksing-natasha.net/welcome.asp... i think... =)

2005-09-06T18:14:00.000+08:00

weeeee.....!! now officially an apple user!! =)

my new found love!! hahaha...

2005-09-06T16:46:00.000+08:00

weeeeeee.......!! i'm a happy, happy girl... haha..
felt like christmas today.. my iBook came....!! pretty pretty pretty... =) totally love it.. the long, awaited wireless internet is here too!! aaaaahh, so enjoyin the speed rite now.. =)

still takes sum gettin use to, but i think i'll do jus fine..

check in again later.. cos me going to get my new hp now..
toodles!! =)

2005-09-04T00:45:00.000+08:00

still up and muggin.. boo...

it jus occured to me tat after next week, we're off for the semester break... wat the hell.. didn't skl jus start? so, its a week of semester break.. then, 4 more weeks of skl, and then tat's it.. off for the exams.. goodness... can't stand the pace of uni life..

haven had much time to myself.. these days, shah is sooo very moody.. actuali, its since the day i told him i'm movin to upper bukit timah.. i think tat's jus crap.. he didn't think i'll be stayin here in this jurong maisonette forever, did he? and wats the big deal... its not like i'm migratin... gosh.. =/

going gymming tmr mornin.. and after tat, huntin for mrs field's cookies and brownies.. mmmmm..... =P

did i mention i've received my mastercard?? wahaha... its preeeety... =) i like! i like! so dyin to go shoppin ryt now, but naaah... shall endure a lil longer.. i'll steal away jus for one day during semester break and make it a gd retail therapy session.. hehe.. ;)

wed's comin.. shah's b'day celebration will be a close knitted one this time round.. his family, azhari and i.. =) guess its jus as well, cos shah's not reali into big grp get-togethers.. will still make it gd tho.. the birthday cake is gonna be secret recipe's chocolate banana.. no contenders here.. hehe..

my sis ex bf's comin over now.. if u've been followin the highly publicised 'school of rock' competition, he's actuali the lead singer of the champion grp, 3Dash1.. they made front page of the straits times last week.. i've heard their self-composed song and i think its great!! title's hear you cry.. seriously gd stuff.. shud go check it out..

alritey.. off now... nitez..

2005-09-01T22:11:00.000+08:00

sum sweet twosome decided to drop by.. hehe.. luv the company.. aww... they're so sweet together after all.. wat's up wit me and lovey dovey couples..? haha.. dunno la.. jus gives me a nice warm fuzzy feelin..

took sum pics and i've decided not to put any of me and shah.. haha.. we've had a long day.. look so shagged la... heee.. but my my, nisa looks reali photogenic..

meet up wit u tmr babe..
nitez all... =)

2005-09-01T22:10:00.000+08:00

we took plenty shots like these!! haha.. wan cudn't stop lookin horny.. tsk tsk.. =P

nisa gives up and jus covers his face.. gd idea.. =D

ok lah.. side view not bad.. ;)

2005-09-01T17:53:00.000+08:00

if only u'd hear wat i'm not saying..

Pete Murray - So Beautiful

Found myself just the other day
In the backyard of a friend's place,
Thinkin' about you..

Thinkin' of the crowd you're in,
What you up to, where you been..
Just thinkin'..

All the clothes that you wear,
And the colors in your hair
Shouldn't change you..

Now you tell me why it's so,
You're bigger than Mighty Joe
At least you think so..

God, my fingers burn,
Now when I think of touching your hair..
You have changed so much that I don't know,
If I can call you and tell you I care..
And I would love to bring you down,
Plant your feet back on the ground..

Throw my smoke down on the ground,
Turn my head and I heard the sound,
That reminded me,
Of the days so young and sweet
Always so much fun to meet
At least I thought so..

Now you think your so damn fine
You can rule the world no not mine,
I don't think so..

Now the scene that you're in,
And the people that you been with
Just get to me..

But you think I'm not as cool,
As you are so beautiful..
Well who you fooling?

Well I'm here to tell you babe
The game your in is just a game
So damn pretentious..

is tat the perfect song or wat? *sniffs*

its been forever since i've blogged.. been kinda bz.. lemme summarise the highlights of my hiatus..

22nd aug, my sis b'day.. took her out ard town.. dinner at pastamania.. my mumzie bought her the iPod shuffle she so craved.. and i got her a pair of jack purcell's she so luvs.. yeah, she's a happy girl.. bringing her iPod here and there and everywhere.. =S

24th aug.. sweet anniversary.. the first one.. =) met up wit the darling baby.. had dinner at secret recipe.. it was dee-li-cious.. and i fell for their chocolate banana cake, again.. my 2nd time eating it since last yr and i think it beats ALL starbucks and coffee bean cakes.. heee... shall hav another dose of tat soon..

26th aug.. went back to JJC wit nisa.. suddenly missed ms lim so much, so we made a quick, unplanned visit wit a slice of choc cake.. of cos, we reminisced abt our jc days.. nisa was like, "ms lim!! can't we take our degree in JC?? muz we leave??" haha... =) we parted wit sum word of advice frm ms lim.. to nisa, be more confident!! to me, be more discipline!! hehe.. well, there u go... =P

27th aug.. celebrated our anniversary.. went to suntec.. lunch at siam kitchen.. grabbed lotsa choc dipped strawberries and a whole lot of cookies and brownies frm mrs field's, then mini-picniced at marina promenade after strolling abt the esplanade.. it was purrfect.. simple but purrfect.. =)

and yes.. i came face to face again wit a certain someone.. last time they were havin dinner, i cud've tot they were frens.. but this time, him holdin her hand, guess there's no mistake abt it.. how ironic tat he was walkin rite in my path.. i didn't react.. but if u noe me, then u'd be able to read between the lines.. enuf, pls!! i get it.. i dun need to see it anymore..

all the other periods in between was spent doing skl work.. nothin much..

i feel exhausted, mentally and physically.. skl's stressin me out.. tryin to step up to the challenge here, but man... its tough..

aiyaa.. i tok abt other thgs also no use la (sounding very s'porean here).. who am i kidding.. there's jus one thg on my mind..

but anyway, i'm a lil happy cos i started singin again sum two days ago.. and i'm delighted to find tat i'm able to hit every note of christina aguilera's the voice within..!! yeah!! =) i hav equal strength in the voice.. my prob, as usual, is tat i'm not confident abt the range.. so, i was a lil surprise but still... happy all the same... =)

god knows wen i'll blog again.. i'm feelin lifeless rite now.. gonna accompany shah get his hair cut.. see u wen i see u..

till then..

2005-08-19T12:24:00.000+08:00

aaawww... they look reali gd together..

how sweet is tat? =)

perfect couple.. ;)

2005-08-18T21:03:00.000+08:00

this is like, my fav song on piano.. no matter wat song shah asks me to play, i alwiz blast this one in his ear.. haha!! he has no choice.. =P and this is my fav piano repertoire also, wen an emergency performance is needed.. hehe.. enjoy!!

2005-08-18T20:33:00.000+08:00

aaaw... wat beautiful weather today.. so cool and windy.. i liiike!! =)

had my first chinese tutorial and i soooo luv it!! its two hrs and i'd say very productive.. learnt alot in the class... i'm like so kiasu to ans everythin the teacher asks...

teacher: wat's feiji?
me: aeroplane!!!!!
teacher: wats fei?
me: fly!!!
teacher: then wats ji?
me: chicken!!!

and the whole class started laughin.. correct wat.. i mean, separately, ji is chicken rite? haha.. =P of cos i didn't think it meant flyin chicken la... aiyoo... ;) i was reali happy.. i've nvr been this enthusiastic in any tutorial b4, but it was fun.. i can tell the arts students are waaay more vocal than bizad students.. so, tat kinda boosted my confidence and i wasn't all tat shy to ask qns... weeee.... =)

oh, yes yes yes.. btw, i also got all the tutorial slots i chose.. my timetable this sem looks wonderful!! well, except one actuali.. but i'm appealin for tat one.. guess like i'm slowly masterin the art of creatin my own timetable huh? =)

hung out wit nisa and jasmin today too..!! oooh, lucky jasmin got into law.. lunch together.. had a nice chit-chat abt skl, modules and laughed at how crappy bfs can be.. haha.. nice nice.. its a gd day today.. heee...

alryts.. bubye!! =)

2005-08-17T19:25:00.000+08:00

this has been a very bad day, and i am most certainly not in a gd mood..
missed my first theatre studies practical cos i cudn't find the venue.. well, at least nisa feels guilty abt it.. =P yes babe, u definitely owe me one..

the sociology lecturer sucked today.. seriously.. tat's a first.. i think as a lecturer, u shud noe wat to say and how to lecture in such a way tat it'll charm the students.. creatin the rite "studyin" atmosphere is a two way thg rite? well, tat lecturer today.. tsk tsk tsk.. bad, man..

first of all, he delivered such a sucky, zero effort presentation, using transparencies.. wth?? and, he was soooo not funny.. seriously, he was the only one laughin at his own jokes.. and at one pt of time, wen he lost the attention of the students (which is reali not surprisin), he actuali said with an irritatingly cynical tone, "if i were u, i'd be takin down notes.." wtf!!!!! gosh, this is a uni la dey.. dun try reprimandin us for these stupid thgs.. if all of us are not payin attention, obviously there's sumthin u're not doin rite.. i think it'd hav made all the diff if he'd simply said, "try to take down sum notes k.."

and, i reali wonder why sum ppl read blogs if its content bothers them so much? like, they read it.. then not happy, go comment comment comment.. gosh, tryin to be a critic is it? well, here's a lesson frm me.. if u dun like wat u read, dun comment and dun come back.. its tat simple..

i did go to this secondholucaust website, sum reali racist website against malays.. i think the blogger writes absolute crap which i totally disagree wit.. so, tat's tat.. i went once, and i dun hav to go again.. or like this other fella i noe.. my ex-ex-crush's ex gf, who i think is absolutely psycho.. i think her entries are reali sadistic (tat even the ex agrees).. so, tho i noe her blog addy, i dun go there cos i hate wat she writes.. i think she is sooo merepek, so there.. tat's it.. she can go on wit her merepek-ness.. i dun wanna noe.. simple rite? duuh!! *rolls eyes*

i'd like to quote frm mira and janna's blog.. As a passer-by, your job is jus to read & move on.. indeed!!

well, watever.. =/

dear, faster come home.. u hav got to hear abt these bad ppl.. hmph!!
u noe how shah sees the gd in everyone, in his frens? well, i guess the fact tat even he notices tat u're bad news... says alot huh? *smirks* =P

2005-08-17T00:01:00.000+08:00

this is only like, the best duet ever.. jus added it to my mp3.. this is for u, only for tonight.. =)

All Cried Out - Allure & 112

All alone on a Sunday morning

Outside I see the rain is falling, falling

Inside I'm slowly dying

But the rain will hide my crying, crying, crying..

And you...

Don't you know my tears will burn the pillow

Set this place on fire cos I'm tired of your lies..

All I needed was a simple hello...

But the traffic was so noisy that you could not hear me cry..

I gave you my love in vain

My body never knew such pleasure

My heart never knew such pain

You leave me so confused

Now I'm all cried out.. over you..

Cryin' over you, yeah..

Never wanted to see things your way

I had to go astray

Oh, why was I such a fool lady?

Now I see that the grass is greener

Is it too late for me to find my way home

How could I be so wrong?

Leaving me all alone....

Don't you know my tears will cause an inferno

Romance of these flames

Why should I take the blame?

You were the one who left me neglected..

I'm so sorry baby..

Apology not accepted..

Add me to the broken hearts you've collected!!!!!

I gave you all of me..

How was I to know,

You would weaken so easily..

I don't know what to do..

Now I'm all cried out..

Over you..

2005-08-16T22:35:00.000+08:00

sheesh.. came home to a reali messy house today, after that sleepover last nite.. wat wit leftover pizzas, and tubs of ben & jerry's.. hehe.. didn't noe tat, did u? =P tat's cos i didn't talk abt it, and the reason for tat is simply cos i didn't want to... heh..

but anyways, we rented plenty of movies!! coach carter, freaky fri, hitch, mean girls, bring it on2, wicker park (again!!), sum japanese movies.. me watchin love actuali ryt now.. oh man, i'd forgot how sweet the movie is.. i'm actuali tearin.. haha.. many parts of the movie is reali touchin.. so real.. =)

hmm... skl was reali gd today.. had mandarin and history.. gd gd.. so, i reali like all my modules this sem... thank god..!! =D

as usual, the arts forum was reali happenin.. there was a band playin (cannot make it sia..) and a bz bz bz bazaar.. too bad i wasn't in the mood to shop.. i saw sum pretty cool stuffs.. but i hav decided tat i shall get tat canon photo printer frm the bazzar tmr.. yeah!! its a real gd deal... guess this means i'll get to print all the photos myself.. which in turn, means our first yr photo album will be ready this aug 24th!! yaaayyy!!! =)

a-a-and.. i'm buyin an apple iBook as well.. shud be able to get it by fri.. i'll lend my mum this lappy for a while.. yaaayy.... iBook!! pretty, pretty white...!! =)

oh, ok.. i wan go practise my chinese sum more.. wen writin chinese characters (accordin to the lecturer), its left to ryt, top to bottom, frame before inset.. aaarrggh... confusin!! malay easier.. =P haha.. so far, i've memorised writin all numbers to ten, bai, wan, qian, liang, ge, ren, tian, ri, yue, nian, da, xiao, ni, wo, hen, hao, mang, bu, ye, tai, lei... i think i rmmbr them la... hee... =)

no skl tmr.. jus gonna drop by to get the printer and iBook, and then off to JB wit my sis.. i am sooo gonna hurry there cos there's a top i muz hav frm mango!! reali hope its still there.. so, long day tmr..

shah baby, i wish u were here cos i'm fallin sick.. i've taken like 3 panadols, and i've got a fever, and i feel like i'm freezin.. =S haiz.. i miss u la.. sob sob... =( lookin forward to the BBQ this weekend.. me and u and the beach!! perfect!! can't wait!!

ok.. shall go lie down now...
nitez... =)

2005-08-15T22:48:00.000+08:00

stayed up all nite yesterday talkin to my sis.. and it dawned on me, tat i'm so lucky to hav a family like mine.. i don't noe wat its like being brought up in a typical, malay conservative family, of cos.. surely they hav their gd pts too, but i guess, i wudn't hav it any other way..

lets look at my family as a study for analysis.. i mean, my whole extended family.. on my paternal side, the families are relatively small, very educated and westernised.. farhan's family, as well as mine, falls here.. all are english-speakin, sum wat liberal and very affectionate to one another.. on my maternal side, they're more coarse, rigid and authoritative, but very candid and happy go lucky at the same time..

in my family, all my siblings and i kiss our parents gd nite every single day since forever..!! and we say, "luv u, mum!!" or, "take care, dad!!" all the time.. my parents are like our buddies.. we discuss wit them every single thg.. where we wanna go, wat we're doin wit our lives, how our r/s are going.. even my 14-yr-old bro asks my mum for advise abt his gf!! hahaha..

my sec sch frens found it reali weird every meet-the-parents session cos i run up to my parents wit big huggies, and then start off talkin all abt my day.. and they're amazed at how i talk to my mum.. like, i dun hold back even the slightest bit.. i tell her everythin!! haa... like, "ma!! there's the guy i reali like!!" and "ma!! there's tat irritatin gal who beat me in science.." u noe wat i mean?

i rmmbr aug 13th, 2 yrs ago.. wen he first laid down the idea of breakin up.. i ran home cryin in my mum's lap wailin, "u see.....!!! he broke up wit me...!!! " and my dad was going on and on abt wat a dumb fella he was and tat i'll find better sum day.. haha.. =)

and every exams, wen i wud burn the midnite oil, my mum wud cook anythin i wan and send it ryt to my study table... hehe.. and she'd check in wit me every couple of hrs also wit a cup of milo and sum pecks on my forehead b4 leavin off to let me study.. haiz... its so wonderful to be pampered.. =)

i'm glad i hav such wonderful parents.. i reali can't imagine if my parents were the kind tat, told me wat to do and acted very "parents" cos then, i wudn't open up to them.. and they wudn't reali noe me at all.. like, i'm jus being a typical daughter to them, doing all the thgs i shud instead of wat i want to.. hmm...

shah's family is sooo different frm mine.. like, they care for each other, but they're very guarded abt it.. they've nvr ever said "i luv u" to each other.. u may think its surprisin, but its actuali very common.. affection in most malay families is like, supposed to be a silent understandin... well, i'm generalisin here.. not all are like tat la...

oh well... a summary abt my day... i hav no skl today.. so, been stayin home writing chinese characters.. we'll be learnin 200 of them cos there's a composition for finals.. i mean, the memorisin characters, i can take.. the thg i find difficult is pronouncin the words wit the correct tone.. my throat soooo hurts ryt now cos i've been practisin.. ergh!!

and u noe wat the lecturer said? "dun worry.. chinese veeeerrrry easy.. 4 tones only... thai got 5 tones, vietnam got 6 tones and cantonese got 9 tones!! so chinese very easy....." =S

very well then.. i'll jus get back to my tongue twister...

si shi si (4 is 4)
shi shi shi (10 is 10)

and then it, it gets more complicated.. like.. 10 is not 4, and 4 is not 10.. or sumthin like tat.. no wonder i hav a splittin headache... haiz...

2005-08-15T00:55:00.000+08:00

we tried to redeem ourselves today, after our very wasted fri and sat, which was spent screamin and fightin wit each other.. so we went out as the cheeziest couple in green ever.. haha!! =P

actuali, i had refused to forgive him.. actuali.. he'd been apologisin and apologisin, but i jus cannot accept wat i saw.. and i didn't wanna give in too easily cos i dun wan him to make it a habit.. tat made him even more frustrated.. in the end tho, hope tat was a lesson well learnt..

it was such a lazy, lazy sunday.. he came over, bummed ard, ordered mc's in, watched movies.. eventuali, we realised we had sumthin to do, tat is to get shah a new sim card.. we headed to west mall.. at the same time, went to swensen's for sundaes we'd been cravin for since eons!!

i jus read shah's entry again and cudn't help cringin at how inarticulate he is.. hmm.. how come ah? cos i think he says the smartest, wisest thgs.. maybe he doesn't express himself well on the comp, or maybe he isn't used to it.. watever it is, i get wat u were tryin to say..
but jus to demonstrate my pt, shall tell u sum of the stuffs he said today..

well, i hate lettin ppl noe how frail i am inside.. i think it gives them a reason to gloat or sumthin.. but i guess everyone needs tat one person with whom they can crash and burn wit, sumone who reali hears wat u're sayin and wun judge u.. thankfully, tat's shah for me..

we were deep in discussion alot of the time today abt the most random stuffs.. not the exact conversation, but the impt context..

at my house:
i dun feel like a loser.. inside, i feel like the luckiest gal ever, i swear.. but i jus hav this feelin tat ppl think i wish i had other thgs.. u noe.. like, in my head, i think they're thinkin, "haa.. yeah la she dun hav XXX and XXX cos XXX and XXX" instead of "yeah la, duh.. she's not like tat and she dun wan those thgs.. she's got more than all tat wat, she dun need XXX and XXX.."

->pls la.. a loser is wen sumone has absolutely nothin going on in his life, or he wishes he had wat sumone else has, or he wishes he had another life.. it dun matter how ppl see u.. cos u dun feel tat way wat.. ppl will see wat they wanna see..

i wonder wats wrong wit tellin ppl the truth? its not like i'm lyin.. i'm damn upfront abt it only cos i wan them to see.. maybe they didn't noe.. its not like i dun acknowledge wenever sumthin is gd.. i'm jus not into all this hypocrisy and pretense and suckin up shit.. its like, wen facts are positive, everyone is all ears.. but wen its bad, no one wans to believe it..

->yeah, i understand wat u're tryin to do.. u're jus puttin thgs to perspective.. but maybe u're not the person to do it, yang.. u noe? it can't be u, cos ur position puts u in a subjective light even if u're not.. it has to come frm ppl on her/his/their side, like her/his/their close frens or [their partners].. then she/he/they'll noe its true.. if it comes frm u, she/he/they're jus gonna think like "aiyaa.. she's jus jealous.."

but why do ppl see thgs tat aren't even there? why do ppl think thgs which are not true? i dun understand.. like if its soooo not true and its damn obvious, how can they not noe?

->cos tat's jus wat they wanna think.. they jus WANT to think tat way.. human are like tat la.. even i'm like tat.. like, there was this XXX guy frm jjc soccer.. and they all come tell me, "oh, he's gd.. he's gd.." but trust me, i dun wanna accept it.. he play how oso, i refuse to think he's a better soccer player than me.. i mean, sumtimes ppl jus dun wanna accept sum thgs la.. they wanna think wat they wanna think..

then at west mall, while i was bz gorgin myself wit my sundae, he surprised me wit...
i think god's punishin me..

basically, he thinks everythin is going bad.. army, finance, family.. he tells me he can't wait to settle down but there's jus sooo much to deal wit..

well, rmmbr wat i tol u... ok? tat u jus gotta find tat one thg tat keeps u going.. a purpose in wat u do... it can be anythin.. like, i hated nus.. and, i've figured out tat its cos i hated the course.. now, i'm doing so much better and i'm enjoyin it alot.. not only tat, i even hav new aspirations and new goals.. so, i'm sure u can find sumthin.. =)

and dear, pls stop throwin tantrums cos u got no phone.. u're the one who smashed it rmmbr?
we'll get a new one next weekend or sumthin la, k? =)

shiqz... outz!!

2005-08-15T00:18:00.000+08:00

tat's my bed u're sleepin on!! =P

a candid shot tat cracked him up.. haha..

seeing green? =P

i think he looks gd here!!

i lurve this pinkie ring..

give it up for the cheeziest couple of the yr!! haha.. =)

2005-08-14T01:19:00.000+08:00

well, my turn.. see, in a r/s, no couple reveals their r/s probs.. we shall be no different.. but jus for a lil explanation..

i didn't, i dun, and i nvr wud wan anythin tat's urs.. : nvr noticed him in the first place, and i definitely dun wan him now, being wit shah..

can't say the same, can u? : u and everyone else.. i'm used to these thgs.. i only bring in the best into my life.. dun blame ppl for wantin wats mine..

first is first, second is nothin.. : i think his exact words were, "i've nvr felt this way b4..." i was his first alot of thg.. fact!! i already had wat u hav..

"huh? wen on earth...?" : yeah, wen on earth did i ever ask for him back after we broke up? i've more pride than tat..

i suffered the worst of excruciatin pain.. : fastin mth, cryin my eyes out durin a levels.. durin the turmoil wit shah, i felt no pain at all cos he was alwiz ryt next to me, tellin me tat there's no where else he'd rather be.. two very different situations.. only wit zai was it a loss..

it was worth it cos in the end, i also had the sweet taste of victory.. : my 3 distinctions..

this time, will be no different.. : i plan to do all i can to get a 5.0 cap...

its not like its sumthin i wasn't anticipatin.. but how can u ever reali be prepared for these thgs? baby ain't it funny how we nvr ever learn to fall... yeah, ain't it? i swear the pain was beyond words tat if i'd stabbed myself in the heart, i was very sure i wudn't feel anythin.. i'd put all my energy in tryin not to cry there at banquet..

but i woke up today and i decide, wat the hell am i thinkin..? it was a very bad thg i had wit him.. and i shud be thankful he's out of my life.. i needed a lil remindin, needed to think back where we hav been.. but i'm glad i'm not too blind to see...

to my baby...
i alwiz tot tat wen it happened, i'll be ok.. cos u'd be by my side, tellin me wat u alwiz tol me.. tat i am very much better off without him, tat he's the one at loss.. but instead, u got angry wit me for carin at all... wat did u expect? i'm only human.. its the absolute normal reaction whether u like it or not..

to think u'd do sumthin to the extend of smashin ur phone into pieces.. satisfied? now u hav no phone and no line (feel free to try callin him.. he left his sim card lyin on the rd..) wasn't i already punished enuf? i dun understand how u cud think i deserved tat.. =( i'm beginnin to wonder if this buildin-ur-body-up thg is a gd idea at all... u noe why.. i already tol u..

b4 we got together, u were pinnin for me, and u asked me wat wud make me happiest.. truth is, i noe u had feelins for me, but i needed to tell the truth, and i told u tat i'd give anythin to hav ipin back again.. u held back frm tellin me how u felt and did everythin u cud to try get me back wit him, despite wat u felt..

dun u noe tat tat only made me see how wonderful u were? i was intrigued tat such a person, whose luv is so pure, exists... he luvs me so tat he doesn't care if he has me or not, jus as long as i'm happy... but yesterday, i see a totally different person.. u cudn't care less tat i felt like i've no self worth at all.. all u cared was tat i cared he was wit sumone else.. i felt like cryin, but i smiled.. cos i tot u of all ppl wud see wat's behind it..

so was it all a lie then? jus sumthin u did half heartedly so i wud fall for u?

ur unconditional love had put u in a different league frm other guys.. if tats gone, i'll still be wit u, but i'd alwiz bear in mind... tat u're jus like everyone else..

i'm lookin forward to our one yr ann too.. i'm jus not sure now if its wit the same guy i fell for.. i wish thgs cud go back to how they were in our first mth.. i tol u thgs wud sooner or later get complacent between us, but u swore nothin wud change..

well, promised u'd nvr get mad at me.. took u 1mth to break tat promise.. u promised u'd nvr yell at me.. took u 3mths to break tat promise.. u promised u'd nvr use the f-word wit me.. took u 11mths to break tat promise.. do u see a pattern? i wanna think only the best of u, but i nvr doubt tat u hav the potential to go crazy on me...

i luv the guy i fell in luv wit.. i dun wan u to change.. pls dun.. for tat's the best gift u cud ever give to me.. i luv u too.. =)

to him..
i'm happy for u.. destiny is a funny thg, but i'm glad thgs worked out like this.. in this life, i was loved by u.. maybe by now u already noe, the one true luv u'd ever had was the one who set u free... if there's one thg shah taught me, its tat if we truly luv sumone, then its not abt possesin him..

if u noticed, my entries abt the camp were very rethorical.. not meant for the ppl involved to read, but more like this is an avenue for me to voice out my inner tots.. so is my entry abt tat situation.. she'd nvr read it, but this is how i feel.. and i'm revealin it here cos only 3 ppl hav access to my blog..

so.. tats tat..
gd nite.. =)